On Wednesday, May 28, 2014, which was only a couple weeks back, the City Council in my town passed something it called the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance, or “H.E.R.O.” What H.E.R.O. is supposed to do is to legally bar discrimination based on “race, color, national origin, marital status, religion, age, gender, sexual orientation and gender identity, disability, [and] military service” in employment, in public accommodations, and in housing.
I know, right? Wow!
For me, this was great news. It meant I could quit my jobs and fulfill my lifelong dream of earning my money by suing Christian bakers who refused to bake me gay wedding cakes.
But even before the City Council passed H.E.R.O., I noticed something odd: Not everyone believed the ordinance was as great as I did. Some people even believed it was bad. Why, some people even believed it was… evil.
Can you imagine? EVIL!
I did some research. I wanted to find out why these other people believed the ordinance was so bad.
What I discovered was that in America, most of our freedoms are derived from signs like this one:
Back in the 1700s, King George III would never allow the colonists to put up signs like that. Whenever an elderly gay black Muslim transgender bigamist Veteran in a wheelchair rolled into the colony saloon with no shirt and no shoes, there was nothing the bartender could do. He was powerless. He had to serve her.
Because of this, the saloons got pretty seedy.
The people in my town who did not like H.E.R.O. were afraid – afraid Houston was going to wind up like the colony saloons back in the days of King George III.
But this was wrong. The revolution happened and the good guys won. This was still America. The people in my town were still going to be able to keep their No Service signs.
It was all just a big misunderstanding!
I immediately rushed off to the protest outside City Hall to set things straight.
(to be continued...)