Trepanation Blues

The sound of cars in the distance. I lie on a mattress. The most jagged in Hell. Head over the side face down in waste paper basket. The waste paper basket metallic rusting contains an astonishing volume of vomit to which I contribute munificently. Vomit scorches inside the nostrils coats throat tongue lips chin.

Sucking back spittle and flashes of light retching everything stabs any attempt at movement immediately punished with more of the same bile poison stomach muscles shriek.

Splash of tequila no place time name only spasms spewing and this soul-destroying bed of nails.

It goes on forever.   

The Suicide Diaries

The clown was dead. On this, we all agreed.

We stood around. We stared at all the pieces – his remains. We stared, but with each other we did not make eye contact.

This clown, he had tried to cut his wrists at first. He’d used a pocket knife. He’d failed. Fumbled it.

Then he’d moved on to a belt. He’d wrapped his clown-belt around his clown-neck. He’d closed the ends of the belt in the closet door. Over the top. This proved to be more effective than the pocket knife. He’d succeeded, and now the clown was dead.

9 Mistakes (You Should Not Make)

Now, if you are going to go and have yourself a stroke –

– and I do not recommend that you do and in fact, I would strongly urge against it, but if, despite my warning, you are going to go and have yourself a stroke anyway –

– then here are some simple things that you should avoid to keep yourself this side of a worst-case scenario:

First, if you are going to go and have yourself a stroke, do not do it while you are alone. Do it while you are around other people, so someone else around you can see you and notice you and maybe even say, “Hey! Look at her! She seems to be acting a little odd. I wonder if something might be wrong!”

And if you should be so fortunate as to begin to have your stroke right in the midst of all of your family and your friends, then do not mistake your stroke for a migraine and announce you are going home. Do not ride your bicycle the two miles back to where you are staying just to sit… all alone… on your couch… in the dark… stroking out.

Look at These People

I found these pictures.

These pictures show all of my people – my cast of characters – even though some of the people don’t come around anymore.

If I Told You the Truth, You Wouldn't Believe Me Anyway

I feel safe in here.

Things rush by, outside my windows – most of them just shapes, blurs, really – and some of them seem more threatening than others seem, but I feel safe in here.

Mostly.

While I am in here, I find things to do to occupy my time. We all have to be doing something, after all, wherever we end up, and mostly, I blog.

I have been blogging like this for years. By now, it might even have been decades. I do not know. There is no way to know for certain.