(A Play in One Act)
Curtain opens, revealing KATY and DOCTOR BELLOQ naked on a queen-sized bed. They are both drunk or stoned or tired or horny, or (more likely) some combination of all four. Books and compact discs are strewn across the queen-sized bed, on the nightstand next to the queen-sized bed, and on the floor all around the queen-sized bed.
A clock on the nightstand reads '10:08 P.M.'
A phone rings. The ring tone is the Velvet Underground song, ‘Sister Ray.’
The ringing of the phone makes KATY jump. She searches for the phone. She finds the phone and rubs her eyes to read the caller I.D.
KATY: Oh shit. It’s Dana. It’s my ex. I have the girls this weekend. I have to answer this.
KATY slaps at her cheeks to sober herself up. She answers the phone on speaker mode.
KATY: (suddenly and with an excess of bluster) Hello-o-o-o!
DOCTOR BELLOQ scrunches up her face and points downward, indicating that KATY should take it down a notch.
DANA: Um, are you okay? Can you talk?
KATY: (groggily, head bobbing, apparently falling asleep again already) Uh huh.
DANA: O-o-o-okay… Well, I was calling about Angela’s science project.
KATY: Angela’s science project.
KATY: Of course! Angela’s science project. It’s done.
DANA: That’s great, ‘cause it’s due in the morning.
KATY: Yeah. Yeah. She was finishing it up and testing it out when I got home from work tonight.
DANA: That’s great!
DOCTOR BELLOQ gives KATY a thumbs-up of approval before passing back out.
KATY also appears to pass out.
DANA: Okay. So-o-o… What did she end up doing for her project? What was it?
KATY and DOCTOR BELLOQ remain passed out on the queen-sized bed.
DANA: (much louder now) Hello? Katy? What was it?
KATY: (snapping out of her stupor suddenly) Oh, you know… Um, Lou Reed!
DANA: (pause)Angela’s science project was Lou Reed?
DOCTOR BELLOQ waves her hands at KATY desperately, mouthing the word “No.”
KATY: (shrugging at DOCTOR BELLOQ, shaking her head) Yeah.
DANA: (exhaling loudly into phone) How is… How is Lou Reed a science project, Katy?
KATY: Oh, you know…
DANA: No, I don’t know, Katy.
KATY: You know… She got, like, a leather jacket… and a pair of wings, and…
DANA: What was the experiment part?
KATY: The wings…
DOCTOR BELLOQ finds a compact disc on the bed and shows it to KATY.
KATY: …and ‘Metal Machine Music.’ ‘Metal Machine Music’ was pretty experimental.
The sound of DANA sucking at her teeth can be heard through the phone.
DANA: And what was the idea or the question behind this project? What was the problem that Angela’s science project was seeking to answer or solve?
KATY: You know… If it is possible to do that?
DANA: (pause) You mean is it possible for her to wear a leather jacket and wings.
KATY: Yes. That.
DANA: And what was her conclusion?
KATY: It’s possible!
DANA: (sucking at her teeth again) Well, that’s… That’s a bold step forward for science, Katy. I’m glad that you-
KATY: (interrupting and raising a fist in victory) Go science!
KATY hangs the phone up on DANA.
KATY: Okay! I think that went well.
DOCTOR BELLOQ opens her eyes again, looks around groggily.
DOCTOR BELLOQ: Kates, I just had this weird-ass dream that your ex called you about some science project.
KATY passes out, falls over onto her pillow.
DOCTOR BELLOQ shrugs, rolls over, and falls asleep.