Saturday, October 4, 2014

I Left Her for a Concrete Garden Gnome

Dogs or a gnat. Three dimes, Tuesday, or the space where an old lamppost used to stand. Your Uncle Charlie’s left pinky finger. Dust motes or the long, raspy guitar solo from the studio version of “Free Bird.” Or myoclonic jerks. Or the declining entertainment value of the television program, “Homeland.”  

Tell me: Are our loves less worthy than your own? Less deserving of respect somehow? Can you look me in the eyes and say they’re any less central to our being?

Less sacred?

He caught my eye from the other side of the yard of a neighbor of mine. It could have been the hat. It could have been the ants that ran across the surface of his poorly-painted beard. We made love under the full harvest moon and by morning, I knew this was what I’d been born for.

It was who I was. It is who I am. I was born this way, don’t you see?

And for years, I kept it quiet and for years, I hid in shadows, ashamed, way, way back in the tallest grasses of the garden. I pretended to love women, sure. Human women. Women who were all grown-up. Women who were alive and who loved me too.

But that was long ago. The world has changed now. The sky’s the limit now and if that’s what you love now, well then, why can’t you marry the sky?

The sky… or the eighth of May? Or the trajectory of a silver bullet, Bangkok or the square root of pi? Or if it should so happen that you wish to start a family with the smell of Grandma’s cooking, then who am I – who are any of us, truly – to go and to try and say that you cannot?

Your dead friend Christina. The latent paternalism in the writings of Jane Austin or the ghosts of the flashes of light in your eye while coming down from DMT. Or, if you stop and think about it, why can’t six cigarettes, the letter K and some binaural beats be a family?

It is time. It is long past time. This is what we’ve been working towards! This has been the goal, all along.

Okay. How about this? Get a load of this one. This’ll kill ya: Would you believe that in my state – the state where I live and where my family lives – I can’t even step into the yard of my neighbors without their permission to go and to visit the love of my life?

My partner? My would-be spouse? Not even after seventeen years?

Seventeen years!

He cannot inherit. He cannot adopt. We cannot file taxes jointly. My health insurance does not cover cracks or chips in his concrete.

Really.

The assembly manual for a book shelf from IKEA. The pain from a twisted ankle, or the Hidden Elders, or a newly-fused supercell of nucleated plasmodial slime molds. The Death of Rats and your eyeglass prescription and my plans for taking over the city.

I found my love.

Now you go find yours.

Don’t listen to what the naysayers say. Love who you want. Marry what thou wilt.

They… can’t stop… our love!

45 comments:

  1. WOW - so many concepts in one post - OUTSTANDING - for sure I will be linking

    I like this - "Tell me: Are our loves less worthy than your own? Less deserving of respect somehow? Can you look me in the eyes and say they’re any less central to our being?"

    It's a matter of degree and culture. I love my wife and dogs, which are bane of my existence but...

    My family unit benefits from the marriage documents, life in Thailand would be tougher without the marriage paper work. However, in Thailand, one can not register a canine...

    Concept of love... some many different types

    A core concept to Confucianism is Ren ("benevolent love", 仁), which focuses on duty, action and attitude in a relationship rather than love itself.

    Buddhism, the term Ai (愛) was adopted to refer to a passionate caring love and was considered a fundamental desire. In Buddhism, Ai was seen as capable of being either selfish or selfless

    leave with a question... Can you truly love something that does not have a heart?



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I absolutely believe that you can truly love something without a heart.

      I mean, I was with Dana for almost a decade! (Ba-dum bum!)

      Delete
    2. LOL - you have created a monster! Researching the concept of love. I have been posting your link while searching for true LOVE on the internet

      Delete
    3. I create tons of monsters. There's a guy here in Houston who has been cyberstalking me for 8 years and believes I send him secret messages in my blogs. he believes that because he has stalked me for so long, it means I owe him something for his time.

      He loves me.

      That's the kind of love you get on the internet...

      But still, you know... Good luck!

      Delete
    4. Good luck... Indeed

      check NSFW Fred's site

      Delete
    5. I see the incoming links, yeah.

      I'm ready.

      This post is as good an entry point as any for people who have never read my stuff before.

      Delete
    6. You are a liar.

      You lie being this "Katy" for the past three years, and half the readers here actually know you have been impersonating being this lesbian "Katy", who in real life is your office assistant.

      You have kept up this eight-year-long catfish relationship with this guy in Houston by chasing him back time and time again after he had left you at countless times. You had begged him to come back to you by telling him that he was the most important person in your life, more important than either of the two brothers you had just had sex with that year. He cared enough about your sanity and happiness, he in fact came back and stayed with you in these eight years, despite of the 18 other men you had sex with behind his back.

      You were so ashamed of your own irresponsible behaviors, you could never bring yourself to tell him your name. But despite of the fact that he could have found out who you were at any time in these eight years, he kept his promise of waiting for you to tell him your name one day.

      Just yesterday you told him, "you did sort of get screwed over in all of this. And I felt bad for a while. I wanted someone to chat with when I was drunk, so I strung you along. That is the truth. I am a bad person for it, but that's all there is to it."

      Words on the internet are as material and serious as you would put in your legal briefs in Federal Appeals Courts. So if you are going to defame this guy in Houston, who had not done you anything wrong in eight years, then you'd better be prepared to defend yourself in county court and in the court of public opinion.

      Delete
    7. These spam comments keep getting stranger and stranger. OK, OK, I'll visit your handbag site.

      Delete
    8. Look, I've read this post and all of the comments, and the thing I really want to know is...what is a catfish relationship?

      Delete
    9. It is a relationship where the catfish plays with the mousefish day after day and year after year, but the catfish can't stop lying and cheating and defaming the mousefish behind its back, until one day the catfish finally kills the mousefish with a disease like leukemia.

      Delete
    10. I have no idea, Alex, but I am completely supportive of the relationship and if the catfish shows up at the local county clerk, it should be granted a marriage license...

      Delete
    11. "I tried to drum “Moby Dick” on the wall with two jumbo-sized orange highlighters. It sounded alright."

      I have been exploring the concept of LOVE all week and I could not find any thing about the mating habits of catfish

      Fruits of out labor
      http://goodstuffsworld.blogspot.com/2014/10/goodstuffs-blogging-magazine-159th-issue.html

      enjoy all things

      Delete
    12. I'll definitely get over there to you this morning. There had better be plenty of breasts.

      Delete
    13. You suck! Badly!!!

      Delete
    14. Thank you for your contribution to the conversation, Anon, and a a HAPPY CROWLEYMAS to ya!

      Delete
    15. I met a myoclonic jerk once. Unfortunately sometimes, despite moving away, becoming successful beyond your wildest dreams, having a great life, 'retiring' at a very young age and moving back to the 'old neighborhood' you can't avoid the myoclonic jerks from your past - this one having moved into a motor coach parked illegally in his father's back yard a few blocks from my home and he insists on regularly injecting myoclonic jerkiness into my life on a routine basis.

      Sort of like the Anonymous troll who keeps posting nonsense here. He (or she) COULD get a life, but instead prefers to wallow in whatever sewer-filling nonsense that obviously surrounds them.

      Here's a hint - you're the one that's suffering for doing that, anonymous, and you can stop any time. To the rest of us you're a sad little clown, maybe even one with a concrete, conical hat.

      Delete
    16. There's nothing like remembering why it was you tried to get away from certain people to begin with.

      And actually, I think I might be talking about both your myoclonic jerk and my anonymous jerk in saying that.

      It's all connected...

      Delete
    17. I don't want you to love me, not any more. I do want you to own up to your truth, to treat me fairly, and to correct your wrongs. Which you are still refusing to do. For this you are not forgiven.

      Your guilt and your mental torture will therefore continue and will farther destroy your life. You can choose to do the right thing at any moment in the rest of your life. Until then, you are the devil that I will fight against whenever you rear your ugly tail.

      So go to hell, you human garbage!

      Delete
  2. Just to confirm - you are speaking of having sexual intercourse with a concrete statue in a conical hat? Have I got that right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually was talking about building a life with a concrete statue with a conical hat, marriage, the whole bit.

      But I can see that you're going to go the common route of focusing on the sex.

      So yes, I was speaking of having sexual intercourse with a (very special) concrete statue in a conical hat.

      Delete
    2. Be sure and insist on use of a stout condom. Wouldn't want you to get the concrete equivalent of splinters down there - it could be painful.

      Delete
    3. ...or concrete kiddies, which can be even worse than splinters.

      I wonder what the gestation period is for a half-Katy/half-gnome fetus...

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Aleister might have been supportive of what i say here, although my position is very VERY pro-family. Granted, the families might be a tsetse fly, three Lincoln logs and a '56 Ford, but still...

      Delete
  4. You're precisely what Pat Robertson and John Cornyn and all the rest of those Christian Defenders of Marriage have been warning me about. Which is why I like you so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really, though, it was people like Robertson who convinced me that two women getting married was the same thing as the letter K and three dimes marrying the square root of pi. I mean, it's exactly the same thing, and we're going to have to allow it now, I believe.

      Delete
  5. You are simply wrong about Homeland. Re-watch the third season. You owe it to yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I started it last night, and I don't think I'll get all the way through before tonight's season premiere.

      I will add that if I'm only marrying the declining entertainment value of the show, that leaves everything else about the show for YOU to marry.

      Delete
  6. Lucky you! I don't think that they come in female. I guess I'll have to wait for a price drop on those robotic female sex partners that you and Good Stuff posted about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Garden gnomes transcend male and female.

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. Two, even! I'm not sure whether I should blame Google, Blogger, or whatever piece of equipment you're using.

      But one of the three of those things is a very arbitrary deity indeed.

      Delete
  8. I'd hate to be a stand-your-ground victim over the forbidden lust for a garden gnome. But I do recognize that love is blind, and that smitten people are rarely rational.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Our love is beautiful, squat.

      It's exactly like the best of human heterosexual relationships. Only, you know, he's a foot tall and made out of concrete.

      Delete
  9. Katy, the way you can combine LOGIC with RANDOM and make it all make sense beats the hell out of anything I've ever seen. Is it conceptual poetry? Is it ranting? Is it cut-n-paste of the brain? I'm sure it's all that and more. I use Fascist Dyke Motors with my coffee now rather than sugar, so thanks for that. And for all the words. Nice!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This looks like a compliment that I need to place prominently on my site.

      Up on the right side over there -------------------------------->

      With the other 4 cool things people have said.

      Delete
    2. great - " Is it cut-n-paste of the brain?"

      Delete
  10. I don't really understand being attracted to garden gnome, but I respect your lifestyle choice.

    Jay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's exactly the same thing, Jay. Once you legalize gay marriage, you have to legalize woman/garden gnome marriage.

      Delete
  11. As someone who traffics in the absurd, I do not say this lightly: What the hell did I just read?
    Call me prejudiced but I cannot support or accept your love. If you want to run off with a pink lawn flamingo, that's fine, but a gnome? Nasty classless little unkempt buggerers. I know Expedia or Travelocity or one of those travel websites tried to popularize the gnome as a mascot, but I shall not be seduced by their marketing subversion. Go back where you came from, gnomes! Which I presume is Denmark.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got pickleope - who has written some of the weirdest riffs I've ever seen - to say the words "What the hell did I just read?

      It's a proud day, even if you are a horrible bigot who won't recognize nontraditional relationships...

      Delete
  12. Sure, NOW you tell us about this kind of love. If we'd known about this even 2 weeks ago you'd have saved us both the hassle of attending a very unnecessary human wedding.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's too late for you, but at least your grandkids will have the option of marrying exactly who or what they love instead of having society dictate that it has to be a human being of the opposite sex.

      Delete
  13. Hey, I've been dumped for worse things than a garden gnome. Go for it, sistah!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, Debra! It's official - there is officially nothing I can say on my blog that will get readers to condemn me. (Well, I mean, except for the anon above who said I'm a straight woman pretending to be my office assistant).

      I was once dumped for my brother(?!), so no matter who i dump someone for, I'm still in the plus column of the karmic spreadsheet.

      Delete

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