Monday, January 14, 2013

I’m a Creep

It is beginning to dawn on me that I might be a little bit creepy.

But only a little bit.

Not the “Hey, Maude, let’s go grab some pitchforks and torches and drive this freak out of town on a rail”  kind of creepy. Not even the “I think I’m going to cross the street right here to try and avoid having to talk to this weirdo”  kind of creepy.

Just, you know… a little bit off.

This is the worst kind of creepy to be, really, because at least with your more overt forms of creepiness, everybody can identify it right away. It takes all of the guesswork out of things. You know I’m creepy, I know I’m creepy, and we can start off on the right foot with the same set of shared assumptions. Hell, it can even be profitable under the right circumstances. You know, if a gal is twelve hundred pounds or is missing half her face or has a full wizard beard, she can take that on the road and maybe make some real money at it, to boot.

No, mine is just the kind of creepy that makes people change the conversation they are having when I walk into a room. The kind that gets me chosen last for team sports in gym class. I don’t get asked to babysit or even to house-sit all that often.  

People know I make them a little bit uncomfortable, but they probably can’t put their finger on just why that is. I bet it’s like when you see a photograph of someone you know that has been flipped into a mirror image. They look wrong and it puts you ill-at-ease, but it’s hard to know just how or why.

It has taken me years to recognize my inner creep and almost as long for me to acknowledge it to myself. But it explains so much about my life!

I really wish somebody had just come right out and told me earlier!

I have tried coming out and asking people whether I am in fact creepy. I have even tried asking them what I can do to maybe be a little less creepy. But this approach has been a disaster. In most cases, it’s become quite clear that folks see me as even creepier after I ask the question than they did before.

I asked my eldest daughter if I was creepy. My eldest daughter answered, “No. I guess not. Not really.”

Then I asked my co-worker, Harry, if I was creepy. Harry is way past creepy and well into crazy scary territory, himself. But still, Harry considered my question in earnest and finally said, “Well, you don’t make eye contact that much, and when you do, it’s just sorta peripheral. That makes some people uncomfortable.”

I even asked my friend, Helen the Queen, if I was creepy. He looked me up and down and said, “Honey, I’d just call you odd.”

I asked Helen the Queen if my creepiness had something to do with my being queer. Helen the Queen checked his nails and said, “Don’t you dare blame homosexuality for your problems!”

And I appreciated the honesty, although I was not completely sure what he meant.

Most of the time, I really don’t give a damn whether or not people think I’m creepy. Okay, okay: Most of the time, I can at least convince myself that I do not give a damn whether or not people think I’m creepy.

The thing is, I am dating now, and the dating scene – to the best of my admittedly limited understanding – is not a place where creepiness is perceived to be an advantage.

So on a first date, I can try and appear mentally stable and trustworthy. Someone you’d want to take home to meet Mom. I can wear my hair in a way that downplays my freakish, flying-saucer-sized eyeballs. Or maybe I can wear clothes that draw attention away from my scrawny arms, my flat chest, and my bird talon-like hands.

I can try and maintain eye contact – but not too much eye contact, because that’s creepy! – and I can be conscious of my body language and practice my active listening skills.

My concern is, can I do all of those things simultaneously without coming across as… you know… creepy in the process?

This is going to take some practice.

And you can help me out!

Here’s how: Tell me if you catch me in the act of being creepy. If you see me, say, standing at the edge of a playground in a manner that could be deemed “lurking,”  tell me. Say, “Hey, Katy, cut that shit out!”

If you catch me rubbing my hands together and whispering to myself, “Soon… so-oo-o-oo-o-n. Bwahahaha!”  then please, bring it to my attention.  

If you see some weird eye twitch of which I might not be aware, or witness me chewing my toenails in public… These are the kinds of things I want to know about!

I thank you in advance for your invaluable contributions to my love life. 

95 comments:

  1. Katy, it doesn`t matter what 'clever, clever' photographic techniques or coloured filters you use to try to make yourself look supposedly unattractive, i can still see that you are a right gorgeous little darlin`. A gorgeous bird cannot hide the fact that she is a gorgeous bird, no matter how hard she trys ! ! !.

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    1. Great. Now I feel as though this blog is one of those lame, "Oh God, I'm hideous! Looks at this ugly picture of me!" blogs...

      I'm not sure that it's my appearance that makes me creepy.

      Delete
    2. It doesn't matter what peoples thinks, as long as you believe in your self that is really matters most. http://pakitong.blogspot.com

      Delete
    3. I think that's pretty much true, Jonathan. Easier said than done, though!

      Delete
  2. 'Creepy' is a word that you would apply to that scum Jervaise Brooke Hamster but its certainly NOT a word that you would apply to Katy Anders.

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  3. jimmie t. murakamiJanuary 14, 2013 at 9:21 PM

    Katy, in that second picture you remind me of one of those incredibly sexy witches who did that beautifully sexy dance in the graveyard in Roger Cor-girls 1957 cult-item "THE UNDEAD".

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    1. So I look like a Fifties-era vampire. But not in a creepy way...

      Delete
  4. Don't we all have a bit of creep in us that we need to suppress or funnel into healthy, non-creepy activities, helping it to dissipate by spreading it thin? Look at William Shatner. That dude has a lot of creep, strange speech pattern, desperate longing to be a rock star, collection of hair pieces, best known for fictionally bedding down with aliens; but he spreads out the creep so it seems less creepy. It seems you're funneling your creep into over-thinking things.

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    1. Damn. Did you just compare me to Shatner?

      I need to let this freak flag fly!

      I'm a rocket man...

      Delete
  5. Tyranny of the majority

    Danger, Will Robinson! Internet vigilantism is on the rise. So far, digital avengers have more or less limited their activities to shaming and exposing outliners. However, one can easily see a future where the moral-minded folks dish their harsh citizen justice out on anyone who steps outside the tight parameters of their idea of acceptable behavior.

    Concept :
    Arthur C Clarke, Lewis Carroll, Edgar Allan Poe , Lindsay Lohan and Kathy (seeker of truth)

    Are you creepy? I would not use the word “creepy”. I would say that you are gifted with a high IQ in two categories
    One of the types of IQ is the ability to think outside the box
    Another type of IQ is the art of expression of thoughts

    Why would you want to date someone who thought you were average or “normal”?

    You can color outside the lines in my sandbox any time you want

    BTW – this blog has the least of hits on my post list
    How to Stay Unremarkably Average
    http://goodstuffsworld.blogspot.com/2012/11/how-to-stay-unremarkably-average.html

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I don't know where the line is between pleasantly eccentric and out-and-out creepy.

      I probably go back and forth over that line with some regularity.

      Any attempt for me to be average or normal is probably doomed to fail...

      Delete
  6. Katy, you have never struck me as creepy. I think I know what you're getting at, and I'll admit that I've been creepy that way myself, creepy because I didn't care what people thought of me at the time I acted creepy, only to realize later that it seemed creepy to them. But it was never what they might have thought it was.
    Anyway, I'll keep watch from henceforth and let you know ;-)
    -JT

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    1. My ex used to give me lists of things she wanted me to start doing, things she didn't want me to do anymore. Things like connecting with her family, being more affectionate, etc.

      EVERY single time I tried and do as she asked, she said it felt creepy.

      Apparently, there's a reason I act like I do, and if I try and act different, it makes me even creepier than normal.

      Delete
  7. I wouldn't call you creepy. Unconventional. And how is that bad? Who the hell would want to be conventional? Shoot me if I become conventional. Word.

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    1. Thank you, Melanie!

      I'm okay when I'm communicating electronically. It's face-to-face that the wheels really come off...

      Delete
  8. There is a fine line between freaky and creepy. It's up to you to decide which side to walk on. Freaky is not a bad thing. Creepy, however, is just scary!

    We're all freaks anyway...the smart ones that is.

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    1. I will eventually find someone as creepy as I am.

      We're biologically programmed to avoid creepy when we're looking for a mate, though. That's why people are wary of individuals with asymmetrical faces - subconsciously, they're concerned about the gene pool.

      So even though I won't be getting any of these women pregnant (barring a miracle!), they don't want to mate with someone who gives them the creeps.

      Delete
    2. We are biologically programmed to avoid creepy? I have to think on that. But I sorta don't think so. Vanilla people are boring. They do mate a lot, but they don't seem all that happy. Pomegranate/ kiwi /bracciole/ dark chocolate people with hot chili are fascinating but there are not a lot of them around. So you'll have to look a lot. But please don't turn vanilla. Plz!

      Delete
    3. Thanks, benni! I don't think I CAN blend in in polite society very well. Trying wouldn't help much.

      I read this study years ago in which 38% of women said they were attracted to a person first because of his/her CAR. Their car! That scared me a little. But then I realized that I probably don't want to date those women anyway.

      Delete
  9. Katy. OK, so what about the date? Was she interesting upon second helpings; did she show a sincere interest in things Katy; did she have an intelligent reason she works for Satan Inc.?

    Fuck creepy and Fuck Walmart. We're all creepy from some perspective. Me, I need dating news.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. She is... charismatic. Seems to be a bull in a china cabinet, which might get interesting if we keep seeing each other. There generally has to be one Type A and one Type B person in a relationship or else things get weird.

      I am cautiously optimistic. And I will be writing about it soon! Ha!

      Delete
  10. I don't think I would use "creepy" to describe you. To me you're more "eccentric" or possible "not right."

    I actually have a little experience in this area. Believe it or not, I've been called "creepy" a couple of times. Weird, I know.

    Jay

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    1. "Not right." I like that. There's an ambiguity about it, where you can't tell if it's a compliment or an insult...

      My suspicion is that there are a few folks who stop by here who might have been accused of creepiness before. Creeps of the world unite!

      Delete
  11. Are you creepy, or just awkward? It can be a fine line I know, but I think an important distinction is that creepy people seem capable of doing harm, whereas awkward people are just nice people who frequently sit at right angles to other people. The mere fact that you might make people uncomfortable doesn't make you creep; that might just mean they either don't like or don't know how to deal with awkward people.

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    1. I make people uncomfortable.

      I think there is that space between your categories - where people are trying to figure out if I am simply socially inept or potentially dangerous that IS the actual problem.

      They can't size me up well enough to know which category I fall into.

      Am I a threat?

      Delete
    2. Interesting. Maybe there's more space in between the two than I think there is, and it's not so easy to discern which is which. Or maybe I just give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that their weirdness and awkwardness is innocuous. After all I was a weird and eccentric kid growing up, and I never meant any harm, so surely most other weird people don't either?

      I like eccentrics though, even though I think I'm fairly normal at this point (whatever that means.) So I think that's why I give them the benefit of the doubt. I think most "normal" people are put off by eccentrics and awkward people, and assume the worst about them.

      Delete
    3. It could just be that I don't know any normal people and therefore don't know what I'm talking about.

      Delete
  12. Girl, look at how many supportive comments you got... take stock in that and rise from your self-perceived ashes.

    It sounds to me like your creepiness stems more from self consciousness and I should know: Before I started drinking I was so self-conscious I could barely move a muscle in mixed company. Whiskey and beer made the sun shine and suddenly I wasn't picked last for teams since I wasn't afraid of the ball. I heartily recommend it. LSD was the coup de grace of shattering my creepy self-conscious prison.

    Once you've drunk and drugged enough, for enough years, you can continue your journey out of creepy / self-consciousness via AA and the 12 steps! And therapy. and everything else you can find: meditation, analysis, dream journals....

    Just bear in mind that social anxiety is the underbelly of grandiosity. We think we are either too good or too bad to be around our peers... either one is preferable to being just another soldier. Knowing you in the limited but profound way I do I'd venture to say you can handle taking these steps without losing a shred of your awesomeness!!

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    1. I agree with you Erich. In fact, I suspect that she would become more awesome than she could possibly imagine.

      Delete
    2. Hmmm... In my mind, am simultaneously way better and way worse than everyone around me. I don't know how to explain that.

      But it results in my being great at public speaking or pubic performance, but shitty at talking to people one-on-one.

      Delete
    3. Perhaps you're afraid to find out that you're really not so different from everyone else?

      Delete
    4. I definitely have the average number of fingers and toes.

      Delete
  13. Wait... what? (not that I'm stunned or anything dramatic, I've just been dying to say that phrase lately. Thanks. I'm better now.

    Wait... was that creepy of me? To work a phrase I'm fixated on into a random conversation on someone else's blobber comment section?

    Oh shit... maybe I'm sort of wierdo creep who would be eating paste and making toenail sculptures in his mom's basement if not for the fact that I'm an orphan...

    Listen, Katy-person, you're only "creepy" if you try to "act" like you're something other than who you are. Unless you're channeling Meryl Streep or auditioning for a local playhouse part, no acting necessary. Come as you are. It's a costume party for people who don't put forth sartorial effort. Sweat pants and Chive On tee shirts.

    Perhaps people change the conversation when you enter the room, or shy away from eye contact NOT because you're creepy, but because it isn't really happening at all and you've got yourself a recurring flare-up of paranoia going on.

    I'd have you over for a drink and a brownie in a heartbeat. But my brownies make people paranoid, which makes me feel creepy.

    (heavy sigh...)

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    1. Thanks. I think what got me thinking about it was a couple things my ex said to me in the time around the breakup ("You creep people out," and "people are afraid of you," specifically).

      I'm usually pretty oblivious to things (Exhibit A: I never saw the breakup coming), so I asked people if these things were true. They laughed it off, and might have even been sincere.

      It's something that has stuck with me now that I am starting to think about finding new friends.

      Delete
  14. I can relate to your not being able to look directly at someone when you were talking with them. For the longest time if I looked someone in the eyes, I couldn't understand what they were saying. I don't know if it's because they had eyes like the hypnotic frog or if their mouth moving distracted me. After many years of practiso I was able to look at someone while talking to them, so there is still hope.

    As for the rest, I've never seen you in person so all I have to go by is your unusual taste in music for someone of your alleged age and your somewhat unsettling love of arachnids. Who am I to complain since I used to babysit snakes and kangaroo rats?

    We all have a little "odd" or "crazy" in us. Somehow, I'm not as sure you are as odd as you pretend to be.

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    1. Hi, Cal!

      I think part of it is a side effect of loving to write. If I have to go to a social gathering or sit through an unnecessary meeting, I am constantly thinking about how I could be writing or reading or finding great new music.

      I extricate myself from those situations as quickly as possible, and people know when you are just going through the motions...

      Delete
    2. I'm abouts to go crazy from not being able to write or write music. How I can get two bad hard drives in succession when he says no one else has problems with the drives, I have to attribute to my luck. Still, it has become maddening.

      Delete
    3. Computer viruses from downloading porn?

      Delete
    4. Porn doesn't generally do anything for me. I'd rather be doing it than watching it. Does that make me old fashioned?

      Delete
    5. Porn won't throw rocks at our window or stalk you for 3 months when you're done with it, though.

      Delete
    6. Well, you have a point. Porn won't stay at your house and pawn everything of value that you own either.

      Delete
    7. The women I know get older and fall apart and start to sag.

      The girls in porn always stay the same age. Unless you're into one of those oddball niche type things.

      Delete
  15. As for "creepy," see my comments about the arachnids. Haha

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    1. For better or worse, I let the kids take most of the arachnids when they loved out in August. I just have one right now. So I am substantially less creepy!

      Delete
    2. See? There's hope for you yet! ;)

      Delete
  16. Replies
    1. Doing well. I am in Boston this week putting up with insufferable Patriots fans. Hope you are hanging in there.

      You have a long way to go in the Book of Creepy. My brothers set the standard to the point one was nicknamed Uncle Creepy by family friends. The other is now marrying women his kids age. Apparently the age of gullibility is 43. You are not even in the seme ballpark.

      Delete
    2. I went to Boston once. The world is much more vertical there than it is in Houston. Plus I saw some actor named Larry Miller (who I am told is famous) in a restaurant called Legal Seafood.

      I think I might start wearing my Ulysses Malloy mustache more, because I might be losing my edge.

      I want to be able to scare your brothers.

      Delete
    3. Been to Legal Seafood a number of times. Not bad although I prefer the hole in the wall places you find around the waterfront over the more commercial establishments.

      Scaring my brothers would be difficult.

      The only way to scare my oldest, clueless, brother is to laugh at his attempts to bed you and call him grandpa. He lives in Eastern Europe so women with mustaches are acceptable. You know AIDS got my cool brother (#2) a while back. Brother #3 (aka Uncle Creepy) passed away a 3 years ago. Regardless, wear the Ulysses Malloy mustache. It is awesome in its own right. It is just the right amount of over the top.

      Delete
    4. As I was reading your comment, I realized I KNEW about all three brothers! I have acquired a surprising amount of knowledge of your family over the years.

      Meanwhile, I make it more and more difficult for anyone to know who I really am. I'm an ass... and also Ulysses Malloy. Katy is just an alter ego.

      Delete
    5. Sorry to repeat myself. Yes, you have been here with me for muliple events. Thanks for bearing with me.

      I love all of your egos, observing, alter or otherwise. My current theory is you are a 53 year old man living in a small Texas town.

      Delete
    6. I don't know if it's a matter of repeating yourself so much as it is that I've known you for at least half a decade. Maybe more.

      I'm going to shock the hell out of everyone one day when it is revealed that I am actually Harry.

      Delete
    7. You being Harry is fine as long as the story about being arrested for snorting Viagria in a strip club parking lot is true.

      I just did the math. Based on the number of jobs and forums that have crashed around us, it's closer to 7. To get an exact date, we could send a team in to dig around the rubble of the 1st place, but the EPA still has it quarantined. Damn zombies...

      Delete
    8. I'm starting to to take it personally - the universes that die when I'm inside of them.

      The only answer is that I'm Doctor Who or some equivalent timelord. I've been watching a bit of that show lately, and I think that all of my personas might simply be regenerations of each other.

      Weird stuff tends to happen around a timelord, too - although which way the cause and effect goes is up for debate I guess.

      Delete
    9. You would make the perfect first red headed/female doctor!

      Delete
  17. Being picked last for the team...I can relate to that!

    But let me point out that there's a big difference between "being a creep" (as in the title of this woefully mis-titled post) and just "being a little creepy". A creep is not a good person. A creep has ulterior motives and wants to exploit you or hurt you or sabotage you or take from you and has various deceptive and prima faciae impenetrable modus operandi's (what is the correct plural here..."operandii? operanda? oprah winfra? a night at the opera?) for accomplishing these ends through various back doors, so to speak.

    On the other hand, very good, well-meaning people can be a little bit creepy! Like my wonderful neighbor, PF, who is naturally disheveled and walks awkwardly & strangely bent forward (because of a kind of scoliosis, it turns out) and is usually carrying one or more horror DVDs or novels and claims to be arch-conservative (even though he wants single-payer universal health care and wants to keep social security and medicare the way they are...but I digress) and occasionally loudly asks bartenders that he doesn't know if they have any dope AND has THE WORST and most constant CASE OF PLUMBER'S BUTT YOU HAVE EVER SEEN...Well, this is a really good, kind, intelligent, educated man who has a pair of sister cats that he adopted as rescues when they were kittens that he dotes on, and who has repeatedly come up to me apartment to help me move items of furniture that are too big or heavy for me, and who invited me and my cat Rosemary to stay the night at his place when our unit was being sprayed with insecticide, and who takes care of Rosemary when I'm out of town.

    Now, this guy is a little bit creepy, but he is most certainly not a creep! I don't know you well but my somewhat educated guess is that the same can be said of you. Creepy vs. creep is a really significant distinction. Think about those lovely cuddly people in that band, The Cramps! They're creepy, but I bet they're not creeps. In fact, creepy (a little) and cute (a lot) can and often do go together!

    I beg you to stop calling yourself "a creep", k???? <3

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I think most people are eccentric in some ways, if you get to know them well enough. The people that hide it overly well are not to be trusted!

      I also think these comments have helped me define what i was trying to talk about in the blog post: People can't tell if I'm just really awkward or actually dangerous.

      I chose this title for the post, though, because I had the Radiohead song stuck in my head the whole time I was writing it.

      Delete
  18. And btw the photos are awesome!

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    1. Thank you, Dan!

      I can be unbelievably vain for such an awkward girl...

      Delete
  19. Katy, i still think that Sonys Trinitron system, JVCs Blackstripe system, and Panasonics Quintrix system gave a better picture quality than any of todays LCDs, LEDs, or Plasmas, do you agree ?.

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    1. I have absolutely no idea what this question means.

      Delete
  20. Katy, basically it means that CRT (Cathode Ray Tube) Television technology and picture quality back in the 90`s was better than the 'supposedly' superior picture quality technology of so-called high-definition television images today.

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  21. Everyone seems normal, till you get to know them.

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    1. Hell yes. If you know someone for more than a few weeks and still can't perceive any eccentricities or quirks, run away. There is something very wrong with them.

      Delete
  22. Honey, you are beautiful. In a scary kind of way, but good scary, you know? And yeah.....I've seen you in those 8 horror movies you were in. Great acting!

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    1. Haha... Hi, middle child.

      Acting? I didn't even now the camera was on. I was just eating some guy's arm, and next thing I know... movie star!

      Delete
  23. Katy, it scared me when you said "I have no idea what this question means" because it indicated to me that you dont realise that these days Sony, JVC, and Panasonic have absolutely no interest what-so-ever in producing the best product anymore, all they want is to make as much money as possible without even having the decency to produce TV`s that have a good picture on them anymore, sure i know its ALWAYS been about money but, like i said, in the old days they seemed to want to make televisions that had a truly superb picture quality on them as well, now they dont seem to take a pride in what they do anymore and are content to produce rubbish TV`s with crappy picture quality for the same big money.

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    Replies
    1. Eddie,

      First, I agree with you.

      Second, the fact that you are sharing those particular thoughts in this particular forum is a little creepy.

      Delete
    2. Oh. I don't watch television very much.

      Delete
  24. Katy, i actually think that the words "creep" and "creepy" are ludicrously and completely unneccessarily over used in America, they`re also used in absurd and idiotic ways, after all "creeping" around in an old dark house by yourself for 70 years is a very nice and cosy thing to do ! ! !.

    ReplyDelete
  25. There are some things that do creep me out. But what you describe, and from your pictures, I'm confident you fall way short of being a creep. To easy your mind, please know that the pitchfork isn't often used these days to rid the town of creeps, it was a good tool in it's time, light weight, handy, with good reach, but mobs harrying the persecuted over slick cobblestone and rough ground in the dark led to some tragic accidents.

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    1. Not many lynchings these days in general. And most kids today have never spent so much as an hour concerned that they might be tarred and feathered.

      Delete
    2. We here at Table 54 would not find you creepy at all. You seem to have a very strong sense of the absurd is all and it becomes noticeable in your ways of dealing with others. That is a very good thing, Katy. It shows exceptional intelligence, especially in the way you communicate. When you get to be our age, you'll truly appreciate being who you are. Don't try to change - exalt in it! Thanks for being YOU.

      Delete
    3. Thanks! For better or worse, I don't think I can convincingly live square culture for very long. I MIGHT be able to rewire my brain to pull it off, but it's just not enough of a priority...

      And I'm not scared of being alone, so who cares anyway?

      Delete
  26. I don't think crossing the street to avoid talking to someone is all that creepy, I can well understand people who do that. More creepy is crossing the street to talk to someone who might be avoiding you, for good or bad reasons!

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    1. Overly sociable people are creepier to me than awkward people.

      Someone I know met Bill Clinton once. They were having a barbecue in their yard and he was driving by, got out and hugged them.

      That is creepy to me. Normal people don;t raid barbecues and hug strangers.

      They do what i do with strangers. Keep going on by...

      Delete
  27. Katy, does it bother you that rampagingly heterosexual geezers find you incredibly attractive and desirable ?.

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    1. The attraction would not be bothersome. It's sort of all about how they handle it.

      Delete
  28. You mean if THEY react badly when you tell them that you fancy birds instead of geezers ! ?. I suppose a good re-action might be that a geezer might say he knew a gorgeous bi-sexual bird who was willing to have a three-some with you and him, would you go for that ?.

    ReplyDelete
  29. If I don't perceive you as creepy at all, and I feel like you're someone that would probably be fun to grab coffee with and poke around your brain a little, does that make me creepy too? Or just oblivious to creepy people? Because I wouldn't grab coffee with the homeless guy that I'm 99.9% sure is addicted to battery acid, but I've been known to be a bad judge of character before.

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    1. It might just mean that I'm a psychopath and can produce a reasonable facsimile of human emotions online.

      I'm sure if you met me, you'd be appropriately creeped out.

      Delete
  30. Katy, did you enable comment moderation on this site because of that 'Hamster' bastard ?.

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    1. Think I had it set up before he ever got here.

      I don't really censor anybody. I do limit the number of off-topic comments one person posts per blog post.

      There was one post where you posted something like 30 comments on one post in one day. None were about the post.

      I don't see anything wrong with limiting that sort of thing...

      Delete
  31. Haha! I think it's perfectly alright to be a little bit creepy. In fact, it's the ones who aren't creepy you need to look out for, they're usually the ones that are normal in public but actually keep a human head in a jar next to their beds.xxx

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    1. Hi, Scarlett. I was thinking the same thing a few days back. Trying too hard to appear normal is creepy.

      I think I just want to know if I am! You know, you see those guys who wear their pants up above their navels or do a comb-over with their hair and you think, "Why doesn't anybody tell them how that looks?"

      I want to know. It doesn't mean I'll change what I'm doing. But I want to know.

      Delete
  32. Katy, isn`t it odd that the second syllable of the word "hospitality" is the word "spit" ! ? ! ?, another bizarre contradiction in terms i think you`ll agree, unless of course you`re Basil Fawlty, the bloody dirty British scumbag.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We all know that the only Bloody Dirty British Scumbag around here is YOU Hamster Pedophiliac Imbecilic Dumb-Ass.

      And no it is not odd that only an idiot like you who would butcher your own mother tongue like an illiterate ingrate, and then actually flaunt such shameless idiocy on a blog page at an ocean away.

      How empty is your life, Hamster Dumb-Ass?

      Here is a way to improve your life and this universe at the same time. Why don't you dig a hole in your meal-of-the-week rabbit stew, and then dive right in? You would have finally contributed to the workings of this universe, while letting your fellow beggars under your bridge to have a hot meal and survive another day.

      Delete
  33. You know what's creepy?

    A friend of mine told me last night that she wanted to put a toilet, a working toilet, on her roof.

    After that, you just have to shake your head and walk away, you know? Either that or start drinking a bottle of gin. I think she was in fact drinking when she said that to me, but I will never know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I dunno. People have different sorts of hangups, I guess. I have a hard time writing when there are people around. I think it might be because people have made fun of how worked up I get when I type.

      You sickos out there who can type out in the open, for all to see, confuse me...

      Delete
  34. jervaise brooke hamsterJanuary 24, 2013 at 3:28 PM

    Hey, on5464, you`re just jealous of my amazing wit and mastery of the English language (something that you simply dont possess and NEVER will possess in a million years). By the way, i`ve never eaten rabbit stew, my favourite meal is: eggs, bacon, chips, sausage, tomatoes, beans, mushrooms.

    ReplyDelete
  35. otis rampaging heterosexualityJanuary 24, 2013 at 3:48 PM

    Hey, on5464, if you want to drink a bottle of gin just because someone tells you they want to put a toilet on their roof you must be an even bigger loser than Jervaise Brooke Hamster ! ! !.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, Otis, Dumb-Ass, you forget the fact that you ARE the Hamster.

      You ARE the Pedophile.
      You ARE the Imbecile.
      You ARE the Scumbag.

      No matter how many idiotic names you give yourself, Hamster, you ARE the human trash whose vile stench constantly reminds us and the entire world that we must forever rise up and exterminate evil humans like you.

      Delete
    2. Well, I think I have now pretty well established what happens when I don't moderate comments closely...

      Delete

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