It’s not just that she was late for class. It’s that she was twenty minutes late for class. It’s that when she finally made her appearance, she had her headphones on and she kept her headphones on. It’s that she flitted into the room twenty minutes late, headed straight up to the front of the classroom, and crashed her things down into the seat right next to mine.
It’s all of those things but it is none of those things, really, because it’s what she did next that is the reason I am telling you this.
She sat. She put her booted feet up onto the chair so that her chin rested on her knees. She pulled her hands up into the sleeves of her sweatshirt so that only her very fingertips poked out. Then she pushed her thumbs through a well-worn tear in each sleeve just behind the elastic band at the wrist and she left them there.
She did this automatically. This was a habit for her. This was her everyday manner of wearing a sweatshirt.
With her thumbs sticking out through the tears in the shirt and her fingertips barely showing out the ends of the sleeves, it created an impression that she was wearing fingerless gloves. But she was not wearing fingerless gloves!
This was adorable.
She was adorable. She was adorable and I had to put my head down on my desk in order to catch my breath.
I spent the rest of the class period like this, with my head down, attempting to come up with my opening line to her. I finally came up with this: “Do you want to hear a story I’ve been working on?” I would say that, and then I would tell her my story about the things that live in the walls. Your walls and my walls, too. The things with tentacles that live in all of the walls and watch us through the cracks.
It is a good story and it would probably not have been too weird for a girl who wore her sweatshirt like this girl wore her sweatshirt. But then class ended and something went wrong with my plan and I wound up forgetting my line and just saying hi.
I said hi and then she said hi and I did not get a gay vibe off of her at all.
Her name was Madison and I met her in my Spanish class on Wednesday night and she is adorable.
Some of the best laid plans... just go southReplyDelete
I am experiencing the same ordeal. I spent all week building a "talk like a pirate day" post. It should of been an easy post for me. However, this post require twice as many man hours and it had two unseen errors. Too top it off, it's not generating the vast number of hits that I had invision.
Enough of me crying in my grog. I have to ask... Did you fantasize about Madison (the doodlebugger) removing her bra while wearing the sweatshirt, like the chick in Flashdance?
We need to keep your page views up, as I get more people linking over from you than from anywhere else by far - even more than google or my own tumblr and twitter pages!Delete
(You're way out in front, and the next two are blackmailersdontshoot.com and museshank.blogspot.com, who I think discovered my page via YOU!)
I can do the Flashdance bra thing. However, I've never been able to do the Breakfast Club lipstick thing.
I'll take 3rd place behind those two guys and be happy!
Somehow I don't think that came out the way I intended...Delete
We're not going to judge you around here, MSgt. What you happily do behind those two is your business.Delete
Katy. Two questions. First, what color was the sweatshirt? A homophobic asshole told me that his gaydar is all about shirt color. Second, how do you say "tentacle" in Espanol? I'm guessing it's all kinds of sexy-sounding, like albondegas.ReplyDelete
Please, fuck Walmart!
Sweatshirt was dark blue, and I'm not too sure about your friend's theory. I mean, unless you're talking about a guy in a rainbow shirt. The whole gaydar thing is getting even tougher now that you have a generation of gay kids who aren't growing up with the scars of early family rejection written across their faces...Delete
Sadly perhaps, tentacle in Spanish is simply "tentáclo." I could make it sound sexy, though... maybe.
And okay, fuck Walmart., Mooner.
My wife and I thoroughly enjoy Walmart: Good products, reduced prices.Delete
People get very excitable over Walmart. Usually, it's over employment practices, their ability to drive Mom & Pop stores out of business in rural areas, and their ability to dominate the sales of certain industries.Delete
However, I don't know that I've ever actually been inside a Walmart.
Did my last comment get swallowed? Dammit, I blame the wall monster.ReplyDelete
Glad you found a an adorable girl and you will get to bask in her adorability during Spanish.I was predisposed to find her quirks annoying as soon as you said she was not only late but had a flippant disregard for punctuality. Timeliness or Detention! That's on my family crest.Delete
Also, the prevailing dating theory is that you don't bring up tentacle talk until at least the fifth date. That's what Christian Mingle says.
I'm habitually early. For everything. I spend a lot of time in parking lots waiting for someone to unlock the door to where I'm going.Delete
The good part about Madison being late, though, is that it will allow me to pay attention to the professor during the first part of class.
I think I might post my tentacle story next week so y'all can decide for yourselves...
What about the Aesop's Fable you were recounting? What happened to Anthony? That's what I was waiting to find out.ReplyDelete
You've gotta take a long range view of these story arcs. This could be going on for years. Dana may have died of old age before the muse has me fill you in on her condition.Delete
It will be worth the wait, though. That much I know.
Whatever you do, Katie, don't hit her with Mooner's famous opening line for vanquishment ... "How's it hangin', Babe?" or Little Ms. Adorable will skeee-DADDLE!ReplyDelete
um ... some have tentacles. some have claws ....
Frankly, my record isn't much worse than Mooner's... My general rule of thumb from here on out when it comes to women is to do exactly the opposite of whatever my instinct and gut tell me to do.Although if my gut tells me to do the opposite of what my gut tells me, I do get a paradoxical point...Delete
BJ, Mooner also licks his eyebrows when he says it, which might explain his eleven marriages. Probably explains the ten divorces, too...Delete
I think there would be a few red flags with Mooner, if I went that way. The talking dogs, bad marital history, and visits from God, for instance. Otherwise, the mental history would be fine, of course...Delete
I love this story so much. Perfect amount of details and feeling. Absolutely loved it.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Michelle! I'm happy about this one because I just sat down and wrote it with no planning or forethought, really. That almost never happens!Delete
I appreciate this for two reasons. 1) for the writing, and 2) for never at any point calling her "adorbs."ReplyDelete
Oh, you Beer for the Shower guys! U so cray-cray!Delete
I don't know why, but that comment really totes mah goats.Delete
Those well rehearsed lines never work on the truly beautiful, anyway. They've heard them all, and have their bullshit filters set on permanent high alert. I wish I'd thought of the earbuds/headphones thing when I was taking Spanish in high school. At least then I'd have a good excuse for spending two years in Spanish I, and two more getting through Spanish II. "Didn't hear a word of it all semester... What can you expect?"ReplyDelete
That's sort of why I'm taking Spanish (again). I took 11 credit hours of it in undergrad but I don't remember much. I figure if I'm going to keep working in nonprofit - or with the general public at all - in Houston, I probably ought to know Spanish...Delete
You should just have cards printed out with your name and blog address, and phone number on them. Anyone who spends more than five minutes surfing through your blobber posts would HAVE to make contact. They'd be drawn like moths to a flame... Not that moths fare well once they've arrived... maybe that's a lousy analogy. Metal shavings to a magnet? Lint to a navel? (Mooner's right: Fuck Walmart)ReplyDelete
That approach would completely eliminate my concerns about breaking new people into my weirdness slowly, wouldn't it?Delete
One should avoid weird, of courseReplyDelete
Yeah... shopping at Walmart is a great way to avoid weird people...Delete
I'm not sure what it even means to be "weird" actually, but I seem to get accused of it a lot.Delete
I don't know, I really like weird. And, although you seem a little weird to a first timer at your blog, you are adorable as well.Delete
Hi, chuck! Why is it that the people I've never met on the internet all say I'm adorable but the people I HAVE met in the real world all say I'm weird?Delete
It should be the other way around.
I'm adorable, damn it.
Well at least you said "Hi" to her. Some people would just sit and stare at her creepily every day in the class and never actually say anything to her.ReplyDelete
Speaking of creepy, I realized last night that Madison is closer in age to my eldest daughter than she is to me.Delete
Also, my "hi" is probably as creepy as most people's leering.