And now I have a
question to ask you and I am hoping that you have an answer because it’s got me
stumped.
This question
requires a little preliminary background. Just a little; please don’t run away!
Please allow me to tell you a little about the place where I live…
In the place where
I live, we have values. We are very committed to these values. They are what
set this place apart from all of the other places. Our values are our pride and
joy!
We value freedom.
Freedom in our choice of religion. Freedom in what we can say. It’s probably
not like that where you live and that’s okay. It’s only to be expected because
no other place is a place like the place where I live.
We value equality.
We value a thing we call “due process of
law,” which is a fancy term meaning that for everyone – no matter who you
are – there are certain identical steps we go through before we throw the book
at you.
That’s a big one
with us!
There are other ones,
too, but the important thing to remember is that in the place where I live, we
have some wonderful values and it’s these values that make us and our place so special.
With me so far?
Surely you can see why, in such a special place, it is important to
do whatever must be done to defeat threats to our values. To save our values – freedom of religion, freedom of speech, equality
and due process and the rest – we might have to ignore freedom of religion,
freedom of speech, equality and due process and the rest.
A little bit. For
a time.
Don’t worry about
us, though. We’ve done this lots of times before. It’ll be fine.
It’s just like with
me getting sober. I am one hundred percent committed to getting sober. It is
important to me. I am going to do it… This just isn’t a good week, what with
all the crap going on. I have never felt so stressed out.
A few years back, I
worked at a nonprofit. It was a fantastic organization. We helped people. My
boss held us to the highest standards. She was known for her honesty,
integrity, and perfectionism. For this, she had been honored many times.
The organization
received money from federal grants and the federal grants had rules. The rules
said clients must give us certain papers and must sign certain other papers and
we always followed the rules because it was a fantastic organization and my
boss held us to the highest standards.
Once a year, the federal
grants sent people down to double-check our work. To make sure we were
following the rules. They had to do this because it was the law, even though
they knew my boss and knew of her honesty, integrity, and perfectionism.
So every year
before the grant visit, my boss made sure the client files were up to her high
standards. She forged client signatures. She changed dates on applications. She
created HIV lab reports out of thin air.
She had to do it. She
had a reputation to maintain and the organization was a fantastic organization
that helped people.
Here’s the part
where I finally get around to my question.
We can all agree
about the wonderful values we hold dear in the place where I live.
We can all agree
about how much I value getting sober.
We can all agree
about my old boss’ high standards.
So I ask you: What is the difference between people who
hold wonderful values they don’t put into practice and people who don’t hold those
values at all?
I got almost sober today, and my driving skis went in the toilet. Nearly wrecked myself on the road home from a job.
ReplyDeleteAs for the question... not much. I suppose those who hold no values are less hypocritical, and therefore slightly less irritating.
You know, I try not to write angry. I usually succeed. But the mood is getting dark in this country. I'm worried.
DeleteThere are lies that help you and hurt others. There are lies that hurt you and help others. Since everybody lies, all that matters is striking a balance where maybe helping outweighs hurting by just a little.
ReplyDeleteEverybody's a hypocrite? Yeah, maybe it goes back to last week's posts about heroes being human.
DeleteI'll think about it tomorrow.
When I'm going to be totally sober.
Can't . . . answer . . . mesmerized . . . by that gif!
ReplyDeleteI had to use it here. I had saved it on my desktop and was losing way too much time looking at it. Now I can confine it to my "Used Pics" folder where I can't see it as much.
DeleteThey're wearing patriotic colors, so it was vaguely relevant...
The people that hold the values are more likely to feel guilty about not practicing them.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Both groups will kill and torture you, but one group will aplogize profusely while doing it. "I swear I'm not usually like this!"
DeletePlus, they'll justify it - "I was totally right and justified to waterboard you because FREEDOM and stuff." Mmmm...reaaaallly?
DeleteHi, Gia!
DeleteOne of these days, I'm going to write some music that can be played in the background while I sing "9/11, 9/11, 9/11" over it. I believe some people would get a lot of use out of that song/ They get asked a tough political question and they can just cue the music!
The ones who say they hold those values, though they do not practice them, sound better should somebody be listening.
ReplyDeleteSomeone's always listening.
DeleteIt's all about those sentences that hing on the word "But."
"I'm not a racist, BUT..." "I don't believe in discriminaiton, BUT..." And whatever is after the "but" is the worst shit you've ever heard.
Have I mentioned that this has not been my favorite week to be an American?
The World is Out of Balance because peoples values are changing. Due to the fear factor.
ReplyDeleteIn Thailand, peoples values are changing because they fear the government. Most folks don't fight for time honored values when they are under the threat of being detain. Unless you are famous yellow shirt Monk with bizarre values
DTs. Rump (holder of wonderful values) was fearful that Ted B Cruising was leading the polls in Iowa. So he proclaimed that he has Archie Bunker values...
Freedom of Fear... It is not power that corrupts but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it.
"A most insidious form of fear is that which masquerades as common sense or even wisdom, condemning as foolish, reckless, insignificant or futile the small, daily acts of courage which help to preserve man's self-respect and inherent human dignity. " - Aung San Suu Kyi
Trump doesn't worry me. I want people to say any crazy stuff they can think of!
DeletePeople should push for equal rights for dragons.
There should be a political party that is pro-Grandma-kicking.
Go for it!
But if I saw that the pro-Grandma-kicking party was somehow at like 33% in the polls, I'd be calling the grandmothers I know saying, "Hey! Heads up!"
OHH NO MR BILL! Has Katy lost it? Do we need to lock Granny in the closet? Inquiring minds want to know!
DeleteTHE SEXY SEASON WITH GRANDMA
http://goodstuffsworld.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-sexy-season-with-grandma.html
All of your grandmothers are safe with me.
DeleteI want equal rights for unicorns because they are mentioned in the bible.
DeleteI think we need to realize that the American experiment is just that, an experiment, something that up until that point in time really hadn't been tried in human history. Part of that is the ideals it tries but sometimes fails to hold itself to, but failings are what humans are all about. So it is no surprise that a government made up by and for the people should resemble the people themselves. Flawed creatures who for the most part work everyday to be better than the day before, rather than languishing in a status quo, "we suck, so who gives a fuck" resting position.
ReplyDeleteYeah, even though I like to believe that there are people out there working diligently to uphold our highest ideals, I know in my heart that most are just sitting there looking at online porn.
DeleteI know this because the .gif at the end of this post has made me forget what the post as about.
I believe there's no difference. Every day it gets easier to send a message, but having one to send remains difficult. That devalues the worth of words. So, without action, a statement of values is pretty much worthless.
ReplyDeleteThus wrote I, from safely behind a keyboard.
I've gotten a couple good responses here so far.
DeleteOne person said the difference is guilt. Another said the difference is hypocrisy. One pointed out that all people are flawed.
I tend to agree with you, but I will see what everybody else has to say.
Katy. The only way to find demarcation would be to provide a gradient for integrity. Turn integrity from an either/or defined concept into a graded scale--like gasoline. That way, even persons with no integrity have integrity, as would be the case of 30 Octane gas. Only thing runs on 30 Octane gas would be a 1920's washing machine, but its still gas.
ReplyDeleteAs for the end justifying the means, people with integrity can act without it for some seemingly legitimate reason. As this was one of "those questions" in my philosophy class way back to UT, I'll simplify my dissertation as to what a lack of integrity looks like:
Fuck Walmart!
Yeah, it's one of those old problems from ethics class.
DeleteLike if you say you will NEVER allow someone to die, but saving one person would mean the death of 5 people, do you stand by your principle.
If you allow the one to die for the greater good, that's utilitarianism, isn't it?
I try to stay away from that philosophy stuff. I've heard if you spend too much on it, you wind up earning less money and I can't afford to make less than I'm making now...
I honestly think there's no different at all. It's like saying you pride yourself on your congeniality, but you're a recovering alcoholic who drinks socially claiming it would be rude not to. It's making a right from a wrong, which is...err....wrong.
ReplyDeleteAnd Katy you are such a deep soul, I was frightened I wouldn't be able to keep up with your developed, intelligent thought process.
Hi, Sandra! I really don't have a lot of deep thoughts around here.
DeleteI look at your blog about such serious topics and think, "Oh crap. My next post is going to be about my teddy bear getting ruined..."
Wow. I never knew I had a deep soul as a friend. I thought I only had deep fried souls.
DeleteThere are all sorts of things about me that you don't know, Bill.
DeleteFor instance, did you know I can do THIS?
You can't see what i just did, but it was really impressive...
There is one big difference. The people who don't have those values at all may be a lot of things, but one thing they are not is hypocritical. That is one huge reason I prefer your Republicans to your Democrats. When your Republicans bomb and invade and enslave us, they don't pretend they're doing it for our own good.
ReplyDeleteYeah, but doesn't it taste different when you know you've just gotten bombed by a Nobel Peace Prize winner?
DeleteYes, the blood in your mouth is all sweet instead of salty.
DeleteI don't generally vote for either of the major American parties. However, on domestic issues, anyway, there are some differences between them.
DeleteLiving in Texas - where the Republicans have won every race for statewide office since 19098 - voting for one of the two major parties would just be throwing my vote away.
The only difference is that, with the former, at least you've got something to work with. Of course the real danger are the people who have terrible values that they are completely willing to put into practice. I'll take the hypocrite over the fanatic most days.
ReplyDeleteIt's the old Bukowski quote: "The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence."
DeleteI'd replace intelligent/stupid with good/bad, though. Intelligence is overrated.
I sure hope that "getting sober" just means staying off alcohol. And that you can still do PCP, acid, mescaline, mushrooms, many designer drugs, benzos, opiates, barbs, amphetamines, jimson weed, nutmeg, and morning glory seeds. Because you'd have to do ALL those things at once to even begin to comprehend what the fuck's going on in this country right now. And this continent. And this planet. You know, hon ... JUST LIKE IT'S ALWAYS BEEN!!!!! When people get really upset with the shit going down I try to help them imagine being in Kiev when the Mongols invaded in 1240 and pretty much killed everybody and burned the place down and then kept on doing it everywhere else for a couple hundred years. Bet those Kievans wished they'd have had some (insert all the drugs previously listed) instead of just vodka. I'd like to think so anyway.
ReplyDeleteI don't really need most of that stuff since I can poke my brain directly thanks to the trepanning holes.
DeleteBut I use the alcohol to help me sleep and that's something I should probably stop.
I know this is a shitty comparison, but I've felt a similar sense of betrayal by two of my (previously held) public heroes. I'm a huge fan of Woody Allen's movies. Know the dialog for most scenes by heart. Find his humor both enlightening and refreshing. But he's accused of being a serial child molester, of sorts.
ReplyDeleteLikewise with Bill Cosby, my first comedy god as a child. I memorized the routines on his albums, word for word, and can still recite them as if I had just reheard each cut. And he's accused of being a serial rapist, anything BUT the charming Every Dad we came to love through that stupid sit com of his.
Beware of those values you speak of. For the most part it's a flexible standard with almost everyone. I've returned a pocketbook to a grocery store without opening it to see how much cash (if any) it contained. Found it in a shopping cart in the parking lot rack on my way into the store. Didn't think twice, just carried it in, handed it to the customer service lady and went on with my day. But... had I known that pocketbook contained $150K in unmarked bills? My strong sense of ethics might have been swayed. I don't know. I didn't have fifty dollars to my name at the time, and probably could have really used whatever that pocketbook contained, even if it WASN'T $150 grand.
If you try to do right as often as possible, not much else can be asked of you. But like Lyle Lovett says in that song, "It's such a shame, 'cause you've been so good up 'til now."
Hi, Squat!
DeleteYou know, it didn't occur to me until I'd already posted this how similar my topic is to my last post.
But here, I'm really calling everybody in the country a hypocrite instead of just one guy.
I've been really disappointed in the mood of the country over the past month. What would you call it? Not a Red Scare... A Crescent Scare?
Fear and Loathing in Middle America. Or as Joni Mitchell sang in "Sex Kills": "You can see it out in traffic, everyone hates everyone."
DeleteDoesn't help that one particular political party (and their cable news mouthpiece) thrive on the Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid mantra.
I'm turning off the news for a while. Maybe a few weeks. Just to let the frayed nerves heal.
DeleteI'll know something bad has gone down when I hear my front door getting kicked in.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNo, we don't have to worry about crescent moons pinned to our sleeves, but we do have to worry about when the crescent moon people rise up against the people who are proposing doing that to them.
DeletePeople like you and me end up caught in the crossfire between two groups of fanatics. We're innocent bystanders.
That's how I'm going to start describing myself on twitter and social media: "Katy Anders: Innocent Bystander."
Original comment gone? Wonder what it was.
DeleteThe second group of fanatics seems to be actively wooing the first.
I have no idea why he would have deleted it. I don't recall anything being controversial.
DeleteWhen I was 19 I was a South African conscript stationed in Namibia. I was a signaller, which meant I sat in an office with teleprinters and radios. One night I was on leave in Windhoek, which is Namibia's capital. I had to thumb a ride to get back to where I was stationed in Grootfontein, about 600km to the north. I didn't really know what the war was about and I never saw "the enemy". But I did know that I felt like I was utterly in the wrong place. That night was one of the loneliest of my life. And then I started singing this song to myself. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPkhoZzsono
ReplyDeleteI've never heard that song before. I can hear how it would have been appropriate, given the situation.
DeleteWhen I was a kid, I went to school with Hispanics, south Asians, east Asians, black kids, you name it. We just hung out and we never even thought about it. At all. I thought of racism as something that they did in the olden days.
If you had told me that the crap that is happening in my country would be happening in 2015, I'd have told you that you were living in a parallel universe.
People.
Small Blue Thing. I've never heard the song, and had never considered the artist worthy of the acclaim, but now realize how wrong about her I was. Gorgeous, sad, deep (as hell) cut. Thanks, Rupert, for the link. Many thanks.
DeleteYou're welcome.
DeleteI'm not sure I can answer that question because I live in a place where we pretend to hold similar values but they're really just an illusion, a flag people wave that was made with a t-shirt and crayons and pretend it has meaning, a blunt instrument people use to beat those who interpret those same values differently. I live in a place where people value their own values far above the values of others and will shout nonsensically until anyone--even if they agree and have the potential to come to a consensus agreement--has no choice but to stop talking about their values. Sorry, I wish I could help you, that I had some insight here but I value discourse too much to have a definitive answer.
ReplyDeleteI believe this post went astray when I didn't define what "values" means right up top.
DeleteHad I put that word into perspective, everything else would have been brought into perspective.
Become too specific and the artistry is diminished,I think.
DeleteOh, I believe I was too angry going into this one to pull off much artistry.
DeleteThere's already some great comments in this post, way more profound than I could ever muster, so I will only say this.
ReplyDeleteThis almost reminds me of the timeless question, "Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all?" To which I say I'm sorry, sir, but no matter how much you pleasure yourself in front of my bedroom window I will never have any other feelings for you than "disgust."
Blogging is sort of "Pleasuring yourself in front of everyone's bedroom window."
DeleteThe only difference is that with 7 billion people on the planet, you're bound to find a couple people who like to watch that.
And that was Katy's "Daily Moment of Pseudo-Profundity!"
Man, I was with you until the two chicks. Then you lost me.
ReplyDeleteThat's okay. Just sit back and watch the gif of the two patriotic young women for another 10 or 15 minutes and it will all begin to make sense...
DeleteI agree with the kindness in your heart. I stand with in getting sober.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the kindness in your heart. I stand with you in being sober.
ReplyDelete