She called me her girlfriend.
This happened the other day.
We were lying in bed and we were talking, her forehead pressed up against my forehead, the way we do whenever we are lying in bed and we are talking. Whenever we do this, her eyes look enormous to me. I cannot imagine how enormous my eyes must look to her, since my eyes are pretty enormous already, even at a great distance.
Anyway, we were doing this and we were talking, and that is when she called me her girlfriend.
You need to understand that there was no ambiguity in what she said. The context left no room for doubt. It was not a matter of, “Okay, girlfriend, now we’re going to go shopping!” or anything like that. No, it was nothing like that at all. She said, “You’re my girlfriend, so you need to tell me shit like this.”
I don’t remember even what the “shit like this” was anymore. The whole “you’re my girlfriend” part that accompanied it managed to zap everything else that happened that afternoon from my memory.
She called me her girlfriend.
I was not prepared for this. It came out of nowhere and though I tried to play it off like I had maybe not heard it correctly or maybe that I did not care that I had heard it, it is difficult to fake someone out when you are lying forehead to forehead with them with their eyes two inches away from yours.
This might even be something for our criminal justice system to think about. It seems to me that witnesses testifying in courts of law would be far less likely to get away with perjury if they were made to testify while forehead to forehead with members of the jury.
Probably, there would be a lot more witness/jury member hook-ups, too.
Of course, I could be wrong about that. Women who fake orgasms must be able to fake someone out all up close and personal-like, only I am not quite certain how that works. You see, not being a straight girl, I have never had to try and fake it.
While we are on the subject of not being a straight girl, have I mentioned that Doctor Belloq called me her girlfriend the other day?
It was bound to happen eventually, I suppose. After all, we have been dating for six months now. But still, this sort of thing never ever happened to me back in the days when I used to only date straight girls.
Doctor Belloq, on the other hand, is a real live in-the-flesh gold star lesbian. She’s even got an ex who is serving time in a federal penitentiary, which is always a surefire way of knowing that you’re dealing with a real live in-the-flesh gold star lesbian.
There are some definite advantages to dating a real live in-the-flesh gold star lesbian, though. Maybe you and I will talk about some of them someday, when you are older.
She called me her girlfriend the other day and I think I’m okay with that, even though I was never consulted on the matter and even though I had sort of hoped (after my last long-term relationship disaster) that I might, you know, play the field a little more this time out.
Plus, I am still married to someone else. Or to two someone elses, even, depending on which state I happen to be standing in at the time.
Doctor Belloq called me her girlfriend and I did not speak up to protest, which could be interpreted as tacit agreement. Mostly, I think it was just the shock and the confusion from trying to figure out what Doctor Belloq might want with a girlfriend like me.