I have been writing this blog for three and a quarter years now.
Do you have any idea how long that is? Can you even begin to wrap your tiny brain around just how old that makes “Lesbians in My Soup!”?
Three and a quarter years is longer than Jesus Christ’s ministry (and he never posted a single word!). It is longer than Kurt Cobain was famous. Three and a quarter years is longer than the lifespan of the American newt, and it is even longer than it took the ship to sink in that Titanic movie back in the Nineties (and I feature 100% less Celine Dion).
Why, this blog is 62 years old in blog years!
In these past three and a quarter years, I have written about all sorts of unseemly topics. Some of it was stuff you are not likely to find on other blogs. For example, I have written about:
During these past three and a quarter years, political bloggers have linked here only to soon be disappointed that I am not political enough (I have only mentioned President Obama once, and that was the time I demanded to see his balls. To date, he has not shown them to me).
Gay and lesbian bloggers have linked here only to soon be disappointed that I am not gay enough (I have actually posted twice about male genitalia, although admittedly I am counting the one about the President’s balls).
Mommy bloggers have linked here only to soon be disappointed that I post demands to see the President’s balls.
I do not know what this thing is, and I do not know why you people come here week after week to read my words – words which often come across like an amateurish, mutant hybrid of Yoda and The Cat in the Hat.
No, I don’t know why you people come here, but I am sure glad that you do.
In the weeks ahead, I might be shaking things up a little around here because it is time to shake things up a little around here. I might start throwing things at the wall to see what sticks and what oozes down to the floor.
So please, do tell me when you see something that sticks and when you see something that oozes down to the floor. I mean, this is a safe space: We’re all friends here, and we can be open and honest with each other.
Am I right?
I promise to try and keep things weird, but it has to be a group effort.
And now, in this new spirit of openness and honesty (and because I want to know how far Allen “GOODSTUFF” got in his reading), I give you a picture of me with a cat in a bathtub, with a hint of areola.