This past Saturday, I sat down to write a story to post on my blog. But my story was a failure. It went nowhere. I got bored. I aborted it.
Then today – on a whim, I guess – I ran the introduction to my aborted story through Google’s Translate function. First I translated it from English into Japanese. Then I translated it from Japanese into Latin, from Latin into Bulgarian, from Bulgarian into French, and finally from French back into English again.
Now the story tickles my brain. Now the story contains secret messages. My story is much improved!
I might start doing all of my writing this way.
So I present for your consideration, “Oil is a Stranger” by Katy Anders and Google Translate…
If you read (which, in fact, you want to be), it seems that finally took my eyes. I know what I know, and he killed him. Even the secret conspiracy of the powerful global economic reason to join because it is a reason that the odds are good company like me to shut up.
For I tell you, in my mind, I had always known there is a will or it will go.
Read (how he not also with him, and now can be seen to reject). Of course, if possible, he was hit, very thing I football. Although exercise or has failed, the dumbbell up the head. Brain Freeze ice cream my strength. Opening resolution. Or will I, if it was in a certain place testified with the exception of WiFi access locks.
And again, - 1 not just spitballing here! - if not, maybe I forgot to post this time of such great progress, what is the law, and soon...
All the things I thought, listen to me quickly kill the theory.
I think I know what to leave behind. I am, as they do not know to stay for a long time. Weak before so hit the best, but if you need you, I do not succeed, it is - if it has no other means of premature death - is:
Earth has been invaded.
Oil is a stranger.
We have about how society against attack consumer economy.
Raise trade round trolley today!!!
You'd better not fucking torture us again with this techno-crap.ReplyDelete
I will read your normal dribble on any day, no matter how crappy it may be. Amen!
I am sure I'll be back to my normal dribble next time.Delete
The cords of my discord have strung a heart with the greatest of smiling, ;-)ReplyDelete
Haha. I suppose I have earned the incomprehensible (though surprisingly poetic) comments, in this case.Delete
Brain Freeze ice cream my strength.ReplyDelete
If you can not explain it simply, you do not understand it well enough. "- Albert Einstein.
That's a good quote.Delete
Years ago, I decided I was going to write two ways:
1. I would write in very simple ways about complicated things; and
2. I would write in very complicated ways about simple things.
Nothing else is worth my time.
Is this a coded message to some international spy? If so, what's the proper response here? Uh...Progress my grapefruit ankle's bird, soccer.ReplyDelete
"Brain Freeze ice cream my strength," sounds like something that could work on a motivational poster. Somehow.
The confusing part is how some of the coherent parts make it through the translation wood-chipper.
Maybe they get retranslated accidentally into coherence.Delete
I was running some searches last night after I posted this, and I found a youtube channel where a woman does the same multi-step translation thing to song lyrics like "Let it Go" and "Wrecking Ball," which she then sings over the top of the real music.Delete
There's nothing to be done in the face of such Burroughsian genius except to stand back and admire it.
This is so fun! I'm going to give it a try too.ReplyDelete
The initial "Fearing that" part of this story?Delete
It was originally "To Whom it May Concern"!
It's red full of magenta colour yellow and blue excitement! Jagshemash!ReplyDelete
It disappoints me that my computer can write poetry better than I can now.Delete
Well, I mangled it some more via Punjabi, Russian, Spanish and Afrikaans. It got ugly. But this line stood out: "Bush about the Company and against the Consumer Attack-economy started."ReplyDelete
The more you run it through this translation ringer, the more secret messages emerge!Delete
It reminds me of some of the spam comments I get.ReplyDelete
Some of those spam comments have to be written in the same way. I've sat here reading them and wondering what sort of meaning I could possibly get from them - other than the fact that I need to click on links to handbag and Viagra sites.Delete
well, now i see what you were talking about. my shit's much werse, but, yes, after reading this 'translated' for me, i'm as lost as LAST year's eester-yeggs. same as i ever was.ReplyDelete
Translating your post was more fun because it played complete havoc with your colloquialisms.Delete
I might have too much free time...
ahem. sorry. my first reactions are what keeps me in dutch with the humans. some days my greatest accomplishment is just STFU. Hem'me?Delete
I'm not criticizing. Back in 2008, I went through 3 months where I was constantly listening to "Huckleberry Finn" on CD so I could get my head into the cadence and style for my writing.Delete
It didn't really work, but all my characters suddenly had the "screaming fantods" a lot, which was fun.
Katy. Damn was fun? I especially liked the part where the bear shit in the woods. Thank you for this information thoughtfully. I'm going to share it with your heart and soul.ReplyDelete
Hell, I figured it's just marginally less coherent than what I normally post.
I mean, did you read the one about my love affair with a garden gnome? What the hell was my excuse that time?
Kinda deep stuff for my feeble mind, but you do have a knack for writing. : )ReplyDelete
I am just thankful that this one hasn't gotten any more comments or page views than it has. Considering that i wrote it by running it through a translation engine, it would have been disappointing if this had done really well...Delete
I typed "Gort, Klaatu barada nikto" and got links to a computer virus. I guess it was one of those Failsafe doomsday viruses the aliens left for us in case we started dabbling in nuclear time travel. I may have to translate it a few times to get anything deep out of it.ReplyDelete
But in the meantime, heavy once I fit disordered.
I sort of want to do the translation thing to the dialog from porn movies and then overdub the actyual film with the new translations.Delete
Nobody really listens to what tuose people are moaning anyway, do they?
We have prepared a statement, which was translated from English to Japanese, then Japanese to Urdu, then Urdu to Esperanto, then Esperanto to Haitian Creole, and then back to English again.ReplyDelete
We apologize for the late arrival of mine. Usually we please see your dashboard posts, but your office on the ground as orally AZ flooding our posting was lost at sea. I think it was a lot of fun and we hope to see in future.
- beer Relatives
We apologize for arriving late. Usually we see your post in our dashboard, but alas, your post was lost in a sea of A-Z postings that flood us over like a verbal landfill. This was a very fun post idea, and I hope we see more in the future.
-The Beer Brothers)
Haha... I suppose it would be funnier if I just started posting translated comments like yours and didn't tell anyone that's what I was doing. I wonder how long it would take anyone to call me on it?Delete
The A-Z challenge is the greatest blog innnovation since all the bloggers gave each other little blog awards back in 2011 or 2012. You remember? You'd get a "You Light Up My Day" Award and then you were supposed to blow a blog post giving the thing to 12 other people?
That was the Golden Era of blogging, I tell you...
Knowing the blogosphere? I'd say they never notice. I still see comments like "wow great post! follow me back!" getting genuine replies from bloggers like, "Oh wow, I'm glad you liked it! I'd be happy to follow you back! What a cool blog you have! I'm Sarah! Pleased to meet you! What's your name?"Delete
And wow, what a blast from the past. You know, about 6 months ago a blogger tried to pass the "inspiring" blogger award to us. And I was like, whoa, hold up. What is this, 2011? We don't do that anymore, grandpa. Now it's all about daily blog hops. Everybody picks a random, inane theme, then they post until they hate themselves, while simultaneously ignoring the landfill of posts being projectile vomited by their comrades.
And really, isn't that was blogging's all about? The sense of community?
I think it sort of IS about community, even if it's a lame community.Delete
I used to blog on a social media site called Multiply. The blogs were the same format as the oens I write now, basically. But because of the social media aspect of it, I'd get 300-500 comments per blog and people just sort of hung out on my posts.
I felt internet famous for 14 minutes or so.
And THAT'S what blogging is probably all about.
Haha! I'm sorry that I missed this. It's great!ReplyDelete