Maybe I oughta try and do things the easy way. I’m not saying all of the time, mind you. That would either drive me insane or turn me into an old woman or both. But I could still, you know… simplify my living a little.
And here I am thinking specifically of this blog. I read an awful lot of other folks’ blogs. Probably more than any one person ought to read, really. But when I’m reading this awful lot of blogs, I notice that most of your really good bloggers don’t play Hide the Ball. Readers know exactly what they are getting and they get it and then they come back to get more of it the next day.
What they are getting is news on a narrowly-defined topic or from a specific point of view. Or it’s funny cartoons. Or maybe it’s pictures or snippets of music. There are all kinds! A lot of the blogs are fantastic and they are short and they are sweet and they are to the point… and as different from my blog as it is possible to get.
For me, simple is hard. Oh, I have been trying, you know, writing music reviews and top ten lists and once, even trying (and failing) to write a one-sentence blog post.
Today, I try for simple.
Today, I answer some reader emails and post pictures.
That’s all! Really!
you fucking queers make me sick. you are a waist [sic?]of skin and blood. why don’t you and Dana go find husbands and live the right way?
Is that you, Grandma Pearl?
If it is, I am about to make you very happy. Dana and I have found ourselves husbands!
Here are some pictures, taken through the years, of our husbands together. Maybe you can hang them up in your living room. The pictures, I mean. Not our husbands.
Say hi to Papa from me and the kids!
Katy, is this blog supposed to be a short fiction blog or a LGBT blog or a music blog or a politics blog?
No. No, it’s not.
Dear Katy, are you a mother to your kids? It looks like you are doing drugs and living in the gutter when you should be taking care of them?
Do you take care of them?
P.S. I am Frank
I do the best I can, though admittedly with somewhat mixed results.
What is your position on abortion?
Dear Anonymous Emailer:
This is an excellent question, and I can see why you would think of asking me!
I believe abortion should be legal if we as a society can manage to make it a fairer fight. In Texas, we always say that fetuses are people, so I believe they should really have the right to bear arms. You know, like the rest of us.
If you respected gun rights and could still find a doctor willing to abort a fetus that is armed with a .38, then I say give it a go.
Katy, are you are a glass half full or glass half empty kind of girl?
from a fan
In either case, you have a low viscosity liquid poured into what is probably a very high viscosity liquid (the glass), and both are mostly made up of empty space anyway, and they have probably been brought together on my table because I fell for an advertising campaign on behalf of the liquid or the glass or both.
Yeah... I’m that kind of girl. Sorry. (To tell you the truth, though, I try and stick with bottles.)
Katy, I think You smelly Lesbian bitches should be deported.
Is that you again, Grandma Pearl?
I told you about the time we tried to deport ourselves to Canada, didn’t I?
We couldn’t swim across the falls.
If you have something you want to ask me, send it to email@example.com and maybe I will answer your question next time I do a picture post blog.
Except you, Grandma Pearl. If that was you, then you have better grammar than I remember from when I was a kid, but you are still a bit too angry.
I give this particular blog of yours another 3 months, if not sooner.ReplyDelete
I guess removing that widget on the margin that showed all the blogs you were reading all day long actually made it worse, huh? But the things is, what I have always wondered was, just WHAT were you looking for all day long. It's like all the music you are buying and listening to every day and week; WHAT exactly are you looking for?
More, more, more. New, new, new. Nothing apparently was good enough for you. Nothing you want to keep in your life. New, new, new. More, more, more.
When someone runs, she's either running towards something or running away from something. But when she keeps on running even after having had everything come and gone, then I don't think she's running towards anything, not at all.
But if she's happy, truly happy, then she would be standing still, not letting life go.
That's probably some profound stuff you wrote there.Delete
I do not know for sure. I think maybe it went over my head.
I just do my thing. Whether it makes me any happier than anybody else doing their thing, I cannot rightly say.
Do you actually enjoy lying, faking, hiding, and being a hypocrite every moment of your life?Delete
Good God! What a pathetic life! Oh, I say this while without the benefit of reading your recent blogs, just FYI.
Rumor has it that you are getting married this Spring. I have been explaining to people on Huffington Post that one of the reasons that Christianity was factually false and morally wrong, was that Christians always want to coerce other perfectly good and normal people into believing the same crap they hallucinate on, solely to make them feel better about the crap they had been hallucinating on.
You have been for years mocking and cursing against marriage, telling us that it was something you would never touch. Yet it seems that you are in fact not only drinking the crappy CoolAid, but also dragging a perfectly good and normal man into the hell-hole you had despised all your life.
Huh, like I said, you must actually enjoy lying, faking, hiding, and being a hypocrite every moment of your life. And you wonder why this particular blog of yours is not going anywhere.
There’s a line in the movie “Jerry Maguire”, where the legendary sports agent Dicky Fox said, “If [the heart] is empty, [the head] doesn’t matter.” Maybe you haven’t seen this movie yet.
on5464 wrote: "I say this while without the benefit of reading your recent blogs, just FYI."Delete
I don't blame you for not reading my recent blogs. It appears they make you furious! I am not a doctor, but I would definitely recommend you stay away fro stressors like this.
I've been hearing rumors about you, too. I won't say all of them here, but one of them was that YOU were a troll.
I said that was ridiculous! You are on5464 and you are not a troll. I have met you and clearly, you are a Lego Tienanmen Square.
Keep doing your thing, to hell with the doubters, detractors, and haters.ReplyDelete
I'm going to keep doing it because I have a blast doing it.
The naysayers and disgruntled folks are a big help, though. Without them, I would have known that I... I... I wouldn't have known whatever the hell it was on5464 was telling me about myself in that last comment!
Katy I read this blog all the time. Your stories are great.ReplyDelete
I liked the pictures in this one too.
My blogs generally start off with something I want to write about honestly - like I'm concerned about using Benadryl and wine to fall asleep, or I'm concerned about Dana dreams inspiring her to go find something more.
Then, when I start writing, something goes wrong and it ends up changing into this monster story or something.
I'm glad you like them enough to keep coming back!
I like pitchers, but I don't like lesbeans. 'Cept in that movie I saw with the 2 purdy lesbeans. They were kissin on each other and it gave me a boner in my funny parts.ReplyDelete
That's right on! Lesbians are not specifically mentioned in the Bible.Delete
Plus, lesbian sex doesn't make most of American automatically start thinking of anal sex.
So it kind of gets a pass. Except if Rosie O'Donnell figures into it, in which case, it's even worse than gay males...
Katy, I don't think you should ever be afraid to play to your strengths. Most of the output of the blogosphere is completely disposable.ReplyDelete
Your writing is delightful and has staying power. I went back through your old posts the other night, and they are as enjoyable and entertaining now as the day you posted them. You have built something substantial here!
There is nor reason you could not take these and publish them in another medium.
An entry like this one is good from time to time. It helps me to get a better idea of who you are and what your family is like. I like the pics of Aesop and Anthony. They have changed a lot since those pics were taken.
I appreciate the work you put into this and I hope others do as well.
I appreciate your words, Jerry.Delete
The longer pieces is what I keep the blog for. But I know I can't always read the long pieces that other people write on their blogs, so i try to vary it up a little.
I do try to keep my sentences short and keep the language popping enough that it flows by as quickly as possible.
I just found you and I really enjoy your blog. Can I go all caps for a second? THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH LESBIAN BLOGS anywhere so thanks for being one of the few real-life kind of blog for me to read. It's better for me than all the big lez blogs that only have politics and pop culture as lesbian activities. Thanks for keepin it real!ReplyDelete
Thank you, Bellatrix S!Delete
I've thought about that, too. Most gay and/or lesbian blogs are about what stupid stuff Pat Robertson said or when Sara and Tegan are touring again.
There's not much by people who just happen to be out lesbians.
There's not generally much on my page that should really make people mad. Although...
yay for people who just do what they want and need to , and happen to be lesbians! Goddess, we are so pushy with our gay agenda!ReplyDelete
I guess that I'm glad that there are people out there who are actively struggling to further the whole equality thing.Delete
I'm just not much of a joiner.
What other people do and say does not represent me, and what I do and say does not represent anyone else.
Hell, sometimes what I d and say does not even represent ME.
Your blog is always a good read...and you attract some mad ass commenters...ReplyDelete
Personally I often feel like a lesbian trapped in a man's body...normally on the weekend...after beer...when singing 'Hey Big Spender'
I am trying to figure out what brings the angry ones to my page.Delete
Are they just sitting at home, mad at their wives or the government, and suddenly think, "That's it! I'm heading over to lesbiansinmysoup.com to give that girl some hell!"?
You're one of those strange men who sit at the back of the lesbian bar, just watching, aren't you? ;)
I will nver understand how it is that you are the freaks but you make fun of the good people like there is something wrong with us.ReplyDelete
Who the hell cares who you sleep with but you are lyucky we dont crack down and round you people up.
ps I liked your Led Zeppelin story
I know better than to trust what you say. It's always the same old story: you say you're just going to round up one little worthless group of people, then the next thing you know, you're invading Poland.Delete
That being said, your comment ended on a high note. I'm glad you liked my Classic Rock Re-Knot. I'm going to be writing more of them!
If you are too coward to publish my factual comments about you and your blog on this page, wouldn’t the logical and reasonable thing for me to do is to delete my other comments on this page, in protest of your violation of my First Amendment Rights?ReplyDelete
As a Constitutional Law attorney who only handle cases in Federal Appeals Courts, you should fully understand and have also sworn to protect my Constitutional Rights, right?
Now, despite what you've apparently heard, I'm no Constitutional Law attorney.Delete
However, I'm pretty sure that the First Amendment does not apply in the context of a right to have your comments posted on my blog. You have no Constitutional rights vis a vis this blog. Period.
Now didn’t we have the unalienable rights to a bunch of things in this life? And before you give me a dissertation about the intricacies in the reaches of the Law in present day constructs, since you are an expert on the subject matter no doubt, you should pause your Law School indoctrinated head for a moment, and actually think about the ultimate truth in the question of why should any unalienable right of we humans not be universal across all aspects of human existence.Delete
In other words, why can’t we have freedom of speech in public as well as private fora, why due process only applies to American citizens but not to any other citizens of the earth, and why there is no death penalty for corporate personhood or its owners and executives on white collar crimes like they do in China?
Censoring speech or dissent or a challenge to a private person’s publically touted facts, credibility, or authority is no different from the censoring done by a government of the same nature. Censoring is a form of violence. Censoring is only used when the censor is unable to use facts, logic, and reason to win an argument. No one needs to censor when his opponent has exhausted all arguments and still unable to validate their claims. Therefore I always go by the edict that we should let the idiot speak, even when I myself may sound idiotic at times. After all, coming to an argument already carries more valor than the one who uses the delete or deny button on any forum.
For the most part, the rights guaranteed under the Constitution only apply vis a vis the government.Delete
In other words, the government has to respect a right to bear arms, but that doesn't mean I have to let you into my house with a gun. The government can't use evidence found in an unlawful search or seizure they conducted against you, but if I break into your house , find drugs, and THEN turn it over to the cops, it can be used against you.
I would always be in favor of a more expansive reading of our rights, but there are limits to what we want private citizens to be held to. Should I have to respect someone's due process rights (notice and a hearing!) before I kick them out of my house or break up with them? If I allow you to put up a pro-choice sign in my lawn, does this mean I MUST allow pro-life signs on my yard as well?
Because if we say that Constitutional rights apply to private action the same as state/government action, that's what would have to happen!
Regardless, I don't see a problem with someone being able to determine - on their own little blog - what gets posted and what doesn't.
Katy, I'm a little worried about your selection of alcohol. I mean...Evan WILLIAMS!!!! I don't know how to take this one. I'm just concerned that's all....ReplyDelete
I don't think I probably hit the Evan Williams that night.Delete
Bad things happen when I drink whiskey. Bad, bad things.
I hope that the picture does not keep you from coming back to my blog. You're the last non-disgruntled ("gruntled"?) commenter I have!
When I am President, this blog will be torn down to make room for a church.ReplyDelete
I am horrified that gay bigamists are trying to entertain people on the interwebs.
Please stop it this instant!
I am honored to have such a distinguished commenter on my blog.Delete
I think I might go ahead and take my chances and wait until you are sworn in, though.
By then, we'll have converted most of your family.
I always thought your blogs (and gracious we do go way back, at least in the world of blogging time), you blogs are more whimsical than ADD. I like the fact you are deep enough to talk music, politics, marriage, philosophy. This is infinitely more interesting than say, right wing conspiracy theories or debating eschatology with a bunch of pharisees.ReplyDelete
As far as your fan mail, you shower on a regular basis, are more than honest about your shortcomings in all the areas of you life, you have a husband AND you have a very good relationship with your sister in law. Take that nay sayers!!
Thank you, Brent.Delete
Not to break from the sarcastic tone I've been carrying on with here, I needed somebody to say something sane tonight.
I like writing blogs, I have a blast doing it, and somewhere along the line, people tend to get way too positive or way too negative about the results. Just tonight, I've been dealing with someone who can't seem to disconnect from the old blog, and it's a very disturbing thing to behold.
If someone is taking anything I present here to be representative of anything - including my own thinking 5 minutes from now - they might need to go out and enjoy the sun and the birds and the trees for a little while.
I look forward to reading your blogs. To be honest, yours are the only ones I keep track of these days. Part of the charm of your stories are the "fringe" elements you seem to attract. Less so here than say, 3 forums ago where you needed a crazy card to get in (I had mine laminated)Delete
There were a few folks from the old place around here for a little while, but they seem to have drifted off. Even Torrent and Cal!Delete
I've been getting a lot of crazy emails from people on this blog, but not so many crazy comments.
Which is fine!
I am happy to be the last 360 hold out! For the record, I have other things to do, just none as interesting or entertaining as reading your prose. Please though, no poetry.Delete
Amnesia Grok could be staging a comeback any day...Delete
I don't care whether or not these question were real. They were as hilarious as your blog.ReplyDelete
I've all but given up on trying to figure out what parts are real, what parts are myths, and what parts are just supposed to be funny.
If anyone comes around and bothers to read any f it, their guess is as good as mine...
Katy, why was Jervaise Brooke Hamster banned from this site ?, it seemed so unfair, hes one of the funniest trolls who has ever appeared on the internet.ReplyDelete
Hey there, eddie lydecker.Delete
No one is ever really banned from my site, obviously. Anybody is more than welcome to post a comment. But at any time, I MIGHT arbitrarily decide that yet another off-topic or insulting comment is not going to get approved.
I am very arbitrary. Like Yahweh, really. I might create an earthquake to destroy Biloxi, Mississippi, for no reason at all...
You`re a very sweet and tasty little sexpot as well, if you dont mind me saying so.ReplyDelete
I thought my tasty sexpotitude was sort of a given.
For what it's worth I really like your blog the way it is.ReplyDelete
It's nothing like mine but I do think we both have the same theme, that is, we have no theme. I like the fact that I'm never sure what each post is going to be about until I read it, much more interesting then reading about the same thing every time.
Did you know that Queen Victoria did not believe that lesbians existed, apparently when told about it she laughed at the idea. But then she also drank cannabis tea to relieve period pains, so she was quite possibly off her head most of the time.
I generally like to read personality-driven blogs better than the topic-driven blogs, anyway. But then again, I end up reading for writing style over content more than I care to admit...Delete
I remember it took me the longest time to figure out how the whole gay male thing worked... And maybe I still don't quite have the lesbian thing worked out, either. At a certain point, it's like with my smart phone - you just stop worrying about how it works and go with it!
Katy, thats a reasonably acceptable reply and explanation but when you think about how legendary "The Hamster" is becoming on the internet ! ! !, you could have had that rodent all to yourself on this site, it would have been quite a coup, especially when you remember what a hilarious comic and surrealist genius he is.ReplyDelete
The problem is that I'm trying to keep this place obscure, and having The Hamster around could end bringing WAY too much attention to the place.Delete
So it is a careful balancing act!
Hi Katy. Couldn't help but notice your website / blog on disqus. I pray you meet Jesus someday, soon. He's AWESOME!!ReplyDelete
Thank you, Randirock.Delete
I've learned of the Jesus myth, both in the church and in the classroom. It doesn't speak to me.
But King Missile says he was way cool.
Lordy - things have gone to Hell in a Hand Basket. But there's always the Bird Poop on the windshield I see. Will you please write to me and tell me about this alledged Marriage. Love, and Stuff.ReplyDelete
Are you kidding? Things are blowing up around here. It sort of feels like an asylum sometimes, almost.Delete
well, not an asylum, but a facility for health of some kind... What is the word I'm looking for?
Thank you for another great blog. Where else could anyone get that kind of information written in such an incite full way? I have a presentation that I am just now working on, and I have been looking for such information.ReplyDelete
I'm glad that my blog about... hate mail, I guess... can going to help with your presentation.Delete
We're here to educate, of course. ;-)