Saturday, September 13, 2014

Aesop & me

There was the time when Dana’s grandmother died, and Aesop and I smoked peyote before the funeral. The funeral was in an old stone church and we sat pushed right up against one another during the service and I remember sweating a lot. We watched the spirits wriggling in the shadows reaching out for the casket and afterwards, we compared notes about what it was we’d seen.

Aesop and I used to record terrible, terrible ambient music together. We’d send our 4-track tapes off to Brian Eno and to Harold Budd, to Steve Stapleton and to Alvin Lucier, but we never heard back from any of them and Eno would return his envelopes not even opened.

I met Aesop in a dingy record store when I was fifteen years old. The record store was called Sound Exchange. Aesop was wearing a Silver Apples t-shirt. We got to talking about krautrock and about astral projection and about whether anybody had ever recorded a good album after age fifty.

Later on, I introduced him to my twin brother, Antony, and those two fell in love right away and it lasted for twelve years.  

Aesop and I climbed a lot of trees together and we went to a tarantula convention in Tucson, Arizona, too. There was a time we got arrested for stealing a cardboard Santa Claus from in front of a Whataburger and a time we got legally married to make some silly political statement or other.

I told you before about that last bit, didn’t I?

They do not make many friends like Aesop over in life’s friends-making department, but now it has been more than two years since I’ve even so much as spoken to the guy. You know… After Antony left him and Dana left me and they ran off and got married, it all just felt too awkward, somehow. I wanted to call. It was easier not to.

Now I think I’ve got to.

I’ve got to find my brother.

You might have already heard this, but back on July 4 – more than two months ago now! – Dana had a stroke. Ten days later, Antony packed up his belongings. He quit his job. He did not tell anybody where he was going or what he was doing. He just disappeared.

I’ve got to find him – just to make sure he is alright – but I am out of ideas about where it is that he might be.

Aesop might know, though, so I pick up the phone to call Aesop and my hands are shaking. I am planning what I will say and I am really scared that nothing is going to come out when I try and talk, you know?

Before I realize what is even going on, Aesop answers (first ring!) and he says this: “Why the fuck did it take two years for you to finally call me?”

Then I laugh and then he laughs and then we are just two friends laughing together on the phone again. 

41 comments:

  1. That picture at the beginning of this post -- that's the happiest and most self-realized/uncensored I've ever seen you look.

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    1. Hi, Rupert!

      The thing about that picture is that my arms look as though they're like 6 feet long. I'm not even sure how my left arm makes it all the way around Aes. I'm like the mom on "The Incredibles."

      But if it's a picture of me and Aesop, chances are I was having fun when it was taken...

      Delete
  2. I like this story. Of everything you have written lately, I like this the best. Plus I know there is more to come.

    Also, I one of my plants died rather suddenly after I read this post. Do you provide compensation, or just keep track?

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    1. I suppose I need to put up a disclaimer. Things may happen if you read my stuff, ley lines being what they are and so forth.

      If anyone's pregnant or may become pregnant, they should also probably just stay the hell clear...

      Delete
  3. Kind of back to front...

    Through the door there came familiar laughter
    I saw your face and heard you call my name
    Oh my friend we're older but no wiser
    For in our hearts the dreams are still the same

    Then the busy years went rushing by us
    We lost our starry notions on the way
    If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
    We'd smile at one another and we'd say

    Those were the days my friend
    We thought they'd never end
    We'd sing and dance forever and a day
    We'd live the life we choose
    We'd fight and never lose
    For we were young and sure to have our way.

    Mary Hopkin - Those were the days
    http://youtu.be/kEG3iv0YKsw

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    1. I refuse to get sucked into songs about nostalgia or songs that trigger nostalgia, for that way, Debbie Reynolds and Harry Nilsson lay...

      Delete
    2. Err... Sunday morning coffee tends to trigger nostalgia.

      Plus, thoughts of the most important day of the year is this coming Friday

      19 Sep - Talk Like a Pirate with the howling hounds

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    3. Damn, and me with my Talk Like a Pirate Day shopping only half done!

      And actually, I am much more into sappy songs than I used to be. It's because I'm old and hormonal or something now.

      Delete
  4. Well, does Aesop know where Anthony is? Has Dana recovered?

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    1. Chapters, man, chapters! I'm trying to weave a story here.

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    2. Haha... I'm pretty terrible. I'm at least a terrible journalist, still burying the lead two months out...

      Delete
  5. I love those type of friends, the sort who will pick up the phone and you just pick up right where you left off. Those people are important in life.
    Hold on, "tarantula convention"!?! That doesn't exist, does it? Please tell me there isn't a place where giant hairy spiders gather. Guess who has a new phobia.

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    1. 1-2 PM: Annual update on being hairy and scary
      2-3 PM: New ways to sneak up on things
      3-4 PM: Everything alive is edible!
      4-5 PM: How Hollywood continues to defame us (the legacy of Shatner and Eastwood)
      5-6 PM: Excursion: Let's find a random person to attack!

      Delete
    2. I'm a little embarrassed about that prior comment. I wanted to post the schedule of events for the Tarantula Convention, but ended up posting the schedule of events for the last Gay Pride Convention.

      Please forgive my mistake...

      Delete
  6. I sincerely hope the next installment of this series is you two smoking some peyote and locating Antony using only an original Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? board game.

    Also, I don't suppose you're going to upload any of that ambient music for us to hear?

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    1. A couple years back, i set up a bandcamp site. This was back when I wanted to start doing audio versions of my posts - but the first try got the least page views of any post I ever did.

      Anyway, ever since then, I've thought about dumping all my old 4-tracks in there.

      I might still do it, if only to see how much people will pay me to take them back down afterwards...

      Delete
    2. If you ever want to team up with Bryan and the Dictator Tots, let me know. That's my imaginary band that doesn't have much more than the name. And me (I do vocals, kazoo, and air guitar).

      You had an all audio post? I don't remember that. I guess anything that isn't brightly colored pictures automatically withdraws my attention (he said, after posting a blog full of brightly colored pictures).

      Delete
    3. http://www.lesbiansinmysoup.com/2012/08/give-me-aural.html

      The second one had me playing guitar in the background and the third was... old loops, I guess.

      My imaginary band is called The No Blind Jamies because I used to know a girl named Jamie who read in insufficient light.

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    4. " if only to see how much people will pay me to take them back down afterwards..." Now THAT's a line I can relate to! As a starving photographer, I'm often amazed at how adamant some people are to have certain pictures deleted from my camera or from a website gallery. Finally dawned on me that I could charge more for photos they want deleted than they're willing to pay for them to be printed or enlarged. Requires a different "eye" when I'm working. I have to find the absolute worst angle and light, snap away, then run over to show them the resultant image. That's when I tell them I charge $5 per deletion, and if they balk I remind them that I pick the gallery thumbnails personally, and can always make note of an image number.

      Delete
    5. This is sort of the same way that U2 is marketing their new album on Apple products.

      (I gave up on worrying about bad pictures of me years ago!)

      Delete
    6. That was fun. I liked your reading of blaming Dave for all of life's problems. It's got good production value, too. No popping, or weird choppy edits, or random cats meowing (not kidding, I've heard so many podcasts full of "No kitty, I'll feed you later, stop it, I'm trying to do something right now." "MEOOOOW")

      As a bonus, it's also not two and a half hours long - how the hell do people sit through those?

      If anything, I blame that piece being too clever for your average listener to understand. Yeah, I said it.

      Delete
    7. Thanks. I'm a perfectionist, no matter how useless the task at hand. LIke this web site - there's no reason for me to have to have everything so exact, and in fact, it actually lowers the aesthetic value to have everything perfect.

      I made the "me" in the title of this post lowercase on purpose, and it stressed me out so badly I almost had to post an explanation that it was on purpose and not a mistake.

      Yup.

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  7. There's a lot of serious stuff in this post and I'm not sure I have anything to contribute really except to say a) it is always, always good to reconnect with friends and b) if you and your friend ever want to send me any terrible homemade ambient music I will totally listen to it.

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    1. Hi, Alex!

      A lot of it was just guitar loops. Slowed down or sped up. For long periods of time.

      I'm going to post some of it to my bandcamp site sometime and then I'll link to it.

      Delete
    2. Well you won't believe this of course, but that sounds right up my alley.

      Also I should mention that, as far as your story goes, I'm hopeful that everyone turns out okay in the end.

      Delete
    3. Thanks, Alex. Not to give away spoilers, but the kids end up fine and I am writing this right now, so I obviously survive. And there end being lawyers involved.

      No animals have been injured in the writing of these blog posts.

      Delete
  8. Hey! thanks for the hallucinogenic addition to my Bucket List! I need to get to work on markin' 'em off 'stead'a puttin' more on. and ... Rupert's right about you in the first photo. You look like a WE and not a ME in that picture; stronger, more self assured. Not that you don't spit moxie NOW, as a YOU, you understand ....
    btw Aesop looks like a we in that photo as well .... to me

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    1. We'd make a fantastic couple if we weren't both - as my grandpa used to say - queer as a three dollar bill. I mean, we're already married and everything!

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    2. Even Yet? My my my .....
      like sands through the hour glass ....

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    3. Yup, gay even yet...

      Oh, wait. You meant even yet married, didn't you?

      That too.

      Delete
  9. If Antony was sitting on the couch with Aesop when you called, and you wait a couple of weeks to tell us that handy fact, I'm gonna be pissed. Hate cliffhangers...

    Suspense is way overrated. Besides, life is short and one of us might have a stroke before you get around to publishing the conclusion.

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    1. You joke, but Dana was only 37 when she had her stroke, and most my commenters are way, way, way older than that. Way older. Way, way older...

      In fact, some of y'all might not want to buy any green bananas...

      Delete
    2. Hey, I don't even fill up the gas tank of the car anymore. Why die with a full tank of Exxon gas? And I used to buy Powerball tickets that lasted for twenty draws... now I get 'em on the day of the drawing. Who knows when your number's up?

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    3. I hope you're around for a while, squat. At least long enough to split the Powerball earnings with me.

      Delete
  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. But who I am isn't determined by what someone else "deserves."

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    3. Well... She gave birth to my kid's and she was their primary caregiver. I wasn't rooting against her.

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  11. You DID remember to ask Aesop where Antony is? Right? I know, it's a secret until your next post.

    Jay

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    1. Who?

      Oh, Antony! The guy who stole my wife... I'll get right on that, yeah!

      Delete

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