What I Did for Love

My best behavior.

She said my best behavior. Not somebody else’s best behavior. She did not say that. But my best behavior. Mine.

And I believe we can agree, you and I can, that that is a subjective standard. Just like how my favorite song is not your favorite song. Were you to hear it, you probably would not like my favorite song very much.

My best church clothes probably would not fit you, and even if they did fit you, you probably would not wish to wear them. They are not your best church clothes. They are not objectively the best church clothes possible. Not Plato’s Ideal Church-clothes-ness. Nuh-uh.

No, when Dana – who is my wife – came in to talk to me the other day, she was specific in what she said. I even wrote it down, word for word, in the little pocket note pad I keep with me at all times. When Dana came in to talk to me the other day, this is what she said. She said, “Katy, we just hired a new associate. Partner track. And she has invited everybody in our department to her house for dinner tomorrow night.”

Gay Neighbors: A Needs Assessment

They say a good neighbor ought to know her community. They say it’s its own reward to have some kind of shared sense of place in this world.

And so I try but it can be painful and it can be confusing.

This neighborhood was too gay...

Like the other day, I am driving down Fairview and this twelve foot tall black tranny walks out in front of my van and falls over. Just collapses right there in front of me. I look out and it’s wigs-a-go-go out there and I’m not sure what to do and I look over at my daughter and I start singing: “These are the people in your neighborhood / In your neighborhood / In you neigh-bor-HOOD!”

Except that it’s 2011 and she’s six and she doesn’t know about Mister Rogers. She knows about twelve foot tall trannies on Fairview, but Mister Rogers? Forget it.

But still I try to know my community, and so I’m reading all the local papers, and lately, everywhere I look the papers are worrying about how maybe my neighborhood just isn’t gay enough anymore. Maybe the breeders have come to Montrose and maybe they are taking over.

Now, this is not an entirely easy admission for me, but the truth is I’m clueless as to what the optimum level of homosexuality in a neighborhood might be… or what one would do to change that level… or frankly, even to be made aware of the level.

Be Part of Katy’s INTERNET PRAYER RALLY - This Saturday!!

Just the other day, while I was watching my television, a man came on and told me about a lot of people praying just a few miles from where I’m sitting right now.

You would not have believed it! To hear this man talk, there must have been thousands of them, all packed tight into Reliant Stadium and praying to God to help our country – a country which, frankly, seems to need quite a lot of help from somewhere right about now.

And it doesn’t seem possible for anyone to get mad about a crowd of people just standing around praying on their own time, especially when you think of all the things that they could have been doing instead that are a good deal worse… Things like watching “Jersey Shore” or pouring mercury into the water supply, stifling the imagination of a child or arguing about politics on the internet, bragging about committing bigamy or, I don’t know, eating salsa sauce made in New York City, maybe.

These folks at Reliant weren’t doing any of those things. But still people got mad about the crowd and about all that praying and about the whatnot going on, as well.

Dana

I met her in the comments section of foxnews.com.

It was 2004. She was a straight married girl arguing in favor of gay marriage and I was a lonely queer girl arguing against it, because, I mean, the frills, the 50+% divorce rate, the Middle America hetero expectations? Why bother?