Sunday, March 15, 2015

A Murder Mystery

It wasn’t until late Friday evening that we became aware of the outbreak, and by then it was too late. The window for containment – the containment of whatever it was that we were dealing with – was closed, but still we went through the motions of containing it.

Zero Zero was the first to go. He was a gorgeous arboreal avicularia versicolor we’d had for four years and oh, he was my pride and joy, so much so I’d had his name tattooed across my back.

We found him Friday just after the evening news, with his legs curled up beneath him and largely unresponsive, looking like the new Goliath looked when she’d arrived.

Madame Guillotine was next, and then Soma Bath, and then Astrid and Poppy Day. And Lucifer Landed, well, she was still twitching as I laid her out on copy paper to poke and to prod for mites or fleas – for anything that might explain what was killing all the spiders.

I got the kids up out of bed. Sent them to the showers. I told them to keep an eye out for anything weird.

I checked the cats. I checked the dog. They all seemed fine. It was only the spiders and they were still dying. One by one by one.

Ka’Spel and Silverman looked fine when I left on my midnight run to WalMart for soil and peat moss and latex gloves. But by the time I got back, both of them had passed, as well.

I sat down with the children. It was getting really late but I told them, “Now, I need for you three to think hard about this.”

Zero Zero (2011-2015)
I said, “Did you ever put anything from the new Goliath’s cage in with the other spiders?”

I said, “Anything?”

I said, “Anything at all?”

I probably looked kind of scary when I said this, what with the gloves and the mask and the scrub brush and the bleach.

And then Belladonna died, and then Hellsville.

Isis Veiled.

Psycho 9.

Niels.

Torchsong, the Singapore Blue.

Saint Athanasius was the last to go. My first tarantula. A medium-sized Texas brown. I used to carry her around with me in an eyeglass case and I could hand feed her and I blogged about her here about a half dozen times.

Yes, I admit that I cried for Athanasius. I cried because she was there during my bad times. I cried because I was helpless to stop whatever was happening now.

I cried and I cried until I cried myself to sleep.

*           *           *           *           *

The morning light revealed a house just like a war zone. Dead bodies were everywhere.

I started counting legs and sure enough, all the dead were spiders.

I threw away my toothbrush which had been near a cage. I threw away my contacts case and my nail clippers and my tweezers. And I looked down into the bowl of Enemies List – my new baby Mexican orange-kneed – and I expected to see the poor thing in death curl.

But she ran. She scuttled right across the soil and down into a tiny burrow that she’d made.

Enemies List vs. a dime
She was alive. Enemies List was alive!

I shouted, “Rachel! Rachel! How is Enemies List different from all the other spiders?”

Rachel looked around and thought about it and she finally said, “Well, she’s not dead.”

I said, “Yes, yes, I know, but what did we do differently with her before the others died?”

From the other room came Angela’s voice: “Enemies List is too small to eat crickets!”

Enemies List was too small to eat crickets…

Enemies List was too small to eat crickets…

*           *           *           *           *

It wasn’t until late Saturday morning that we became aware that our feed crickets were to blame, and by then, it was much too late for the spiders.

34 comments:

  1. So, is "negligent homicide" a potential charge that could be levied here? Also, how many spiders were you hoarding? That's not to insinuate this mass death was anything less than tragic and heartbreaking. Also, have you explored a future in naming race horses? Because all of those names could have been future Kentucky Derby winner names. Again, sorry for your loss.

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    1. We had seventeen, only one of which I really considered "mine."

      We're going to chalk it up to a learning experience, I think. But it still sucks!

      Delete
  2. Itsy Bitsy spider climbing up the spout
    Down came the rain and washed the spider out
    Out came the sun and dried up all the rain
    Now Itsy Bitsy spider went up the spout again!

    sorry for your lost

    BTW - I have a herd of geckos as pets because they eat spiders and the like

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    1. Hi, GOODSTUFF!

      We have geckos all over outside our house. We never did when I was a kid. It turns out they are Mediterranean geckos who got in on ship at the Houston ship channel in about 1989 and have moving north ever since.

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    2. Oh Danny Boy...

      GOODSTUFF's St Patrick's Day Facebook block party!
      http://goodstuffsworld.blogspot.com/2015/03/another-year-another-green-beer.html

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    3. It is Saint Patrick's Day!

      Why don't we get the day off work?

      Delete
  3. Whoa, that's a thing? Worm-infested crickets? That's terrifying. I had a lizard die once (way before his time) after feeding him a new batch of store bought crickets. I wonder if that's what happened. He was in fantastic health otherwise.

    Regardless, I'm really sorry to hear about all of this. That has to feel awful to lose so many at once. I do remember some of them from previous blog posts, like Saint Athanasius. I hope Enemies List isn't alone for long.

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    1. That's why it is so important to listen to what kind of song those crickets are chirping. If it's sad or scary, don't feed them to your pets.

      That's the theory I'm going with from now on, anyway.

      Delete
  4. My condolences. Clear negligence on the part of whatever store sold you those crickets.

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    1. The last tarantula we ordered died from the worms, as it turned out. The kids put the feed crickets into his shipping container when they were going around feeding the other tarantulas, and the crickets picked up the worms... thereby breaking my imposed quarantine.

      These things happen when you're dealing with pets that are essentially bugs.

      You should see the trouble we have to go through if we ever want to fumigate our house!

      Delete
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    1. Thought about it, and the place that sold me the infested Goliath reimbursed me the purchase price.

      The problem with suing is 1) these are exotic pets, and there are risks involved, and 2) the kids broke the quarantine. They put our feed crickets into the shipping container that the bad spider came in.

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  6. But how would nematodes murder spiders? Wouldn't they just be digested along with the crickets? I mean in the wild, the average prey animal spiders eat will be crawling with parasites, so spiders ought to be exposed to them on a routine basis.

    Please get replacements for the poor things as early as possible. I wish I could help but I don't have any (tame) ones to send you.

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    1. I don't know, but apparently there are worms that mess these little critters up. It's never happened to me before...

      Saint Athanasius had white foam around his mouth when I picked him up, and when I googled it, all signs pointed to worms.

      I'm sad that we lost so many, but the idea of having dozens of pets was my ex's, so thinning the herd will have benefits.

      Delete
  7. I would have immediately suspected any spider that you had named "Butler," as we all know the butler always is the main suspect. But crickets!

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    1. I wonder where Colonel Mustard, my pink-toed tarantula, went. He always looked suspicious to me...

      He could be hanging out in our library, on a candlestick...

      Delete
  8. We are raising our own crickets now for the frogs. I have never shared my life with a spider, but I am protective of them wherever I find them. They seem to appreciate it.

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    1. Hi, Jono! I have thought long and hard about raising our own crickets. My ex tried to talk me into raising roaches once... I said no to that, but the crickets might be, you know, easier than so many trips out to the pet store.

      Delete
  9. Katy. I'm sorry for your losses. I blame Walmart. Fuck Walmart.

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    1. I mentioned WalMart in this one, and as I was typing it, I thought of you, Mooner.

      I am not a WalMart shopper, but when it's midnight and you're looking for potting soil and peat moss, your choices are kind of limited...

      Delete
  10. The part about death that disturbs me so is how easily life slips away from those we care for. and how helpless we feel watching death manifest itself in them. celebrate the living.
    Next critter I get, no matter what ... I'm coming to YOU for a superb, crackerjack, name !

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Names are fun when you don't have to worry about the thing you're naming to learn its own name.

      You'd never give a dog a name like "Madame Guillotine" or "Saint Athanasius." But with a spider, you don't have to worry about them coming when you call.

      Delete
  11. I will admit that spiders give me the hibby-jibbies, but I found your post riveting. And I agree, you should be naming race horses. Beats the names my pets have like Molly, Max, and Sebastian.

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    1. Hi, Sandra! "Max" is perfect pet name. At the very least, it's simple enough that he might come over when you call him.

      On the other hand, spiders are normally VERY easy to care for. Tarantulas can go months without eating, so they're sort of the cactus of pets.

      Delete
  12. Sad as it is to hear about all the dead arachnids, it was fun reading through the names. You seriously have to go into the pet shop bidness and go about naming animals for people. When we took in our first stray cat about four or five months ago, they asked me at the vet's office what his name was (for their records). I told them we hadn't decided on a name yet, since we'd only had the kitten overnight, and that I liked to judge a pet's character before putting a misnomer around it's neck. Unless it's an albatross, in which case it already has neck issues. Had I named the cat "you little shit" like I was getting used to saying whenever it did anything, it wouldn't fit like "Casper", the kitten that walked up during our friend's ghost story and scared the pee out of her son's birthday party guests out in the dark woods. We didn't have any trouble coming up with Zippy for the new kitten, an animal I'm pretty sure has a secret supply of meth hidden somewhere in the house.

    Hope your spider losses don't keep you down. Maybe you should just raise and name happy crickets?

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    1. It takes a certain kind of screwed-up parent to supersede the natural rights of children to name pets, but when it comes to the spiders, I am totally in charge.

      They did manage to name the cats, though. The kids, not the spiders, I mean.

      I've been wondering how your cat situation was going. He'll probably calm down eventually...

      Delete
    2. My own daughter (now a 35 year-old mom of her own little spawning) named her own pets as a child, and did remarkably well for a little person. A pair of gerbils (Plus and Minus), a cat (Pyracket), a dog (Dartanian). When I was a kid I got to name one dog, and he (Squatlo) ended up being famous in our little community. Maybe it's genetic?

      I've seen adults who obviously couldn't come up with names, though. Who names their daughter Nutragina? Just shot a basketball game for a local high school and one of the opposing players was named Treasure Hunt. Seriously. I think a child ought to have the right to kick her mom's ass for that when she's old enough to do it justice.

      Delete
    3. A while back, the law office where I work had a family law case involving twins named Rolls Royce and Royalty (who had been born in a Louisiana prison).

      Delete
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  15. Hey I did remember my Google+ password!

    Sorry to hear about your spiders. Especially St. Athanasius. He was with you a very long time. And I'll take this as another cautionary tale to avoid Kroger sushi. Nematode worms...

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    1. Brent, you disappear for such long periods that I get worried! People of a certain age need to check in regularly...

      I'm kidding sort of.

      Still. Skip the Kroger sushi.

      Delete
    2. This made me awfully sad. I'm sorry for your terrible luck :(

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    3. Hi, Alex. In lieu of flowers, the family is asking that donations be sent in the spider's names to Greenpeace.

      Seriously, though: We're going to have one big funeral this weekend to bury all of them. They're currently in separate zip-loc bags in the freezer.

      Delete

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